Looking for a model to use when having a difficult conversation? Try this one:

• Heart (How is your heart?)
• Be aware (What do you need to be aware of?)
• Encourage safety (How can you encourage safety?)
• Share, Ask, Listen, Take (Now what?)

Through Christian coaching, you can empower others to pursue God’s call. To get an idea of how you can empower others even more effectively, complete the following self-assessment that addresses coaching beliefs, skills, and process (download). Write the number in the blank that comes closest to representing how true a given statement is for you right now. Use the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sometimes • 1: Rarely

The coach’s heart
___  I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___  I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___  I target motivation, not information.
___  I empower others to take responsibility.
 
LIFE skills: Listen • Inquire • Focus • Encourage
___  I’m interested in what others say.
___  When listening, I look interested.
___  When listening, I sound interested.
___  I target understanding, not judging.
___  I don’t talk more than 20% of the time.

___  I ask open-ended questions.
___  I make inviting statements.
___  I don’t ask “why” questions.
___  I don’t give advice.

___  I focus others on developing their own SMART action steps.
___  I don’t suggest action steps.

___  I encourage others through clarification.
___  I encourage others through affirmation.
___  I encourage others through restatement.
___  I encourage others through “encouragers.”
___  I don’t criticize.
 
GROW process: Goal • Reality • Options • Will do
___  I’m clear on what the other person wants to accomplish for the session.
___  I don’t suggest goals for the session.

___  I empower others to explore the current reality regarding their goals.
___  I don’t describe others’ reality.

___  I empower others to brainstorm options for taking action on their goals.
___  I don’t suggest options.

___  I empower others to develop 2-3 SMART action steps per goal.
___  I don’t advise others on what actions to take.

Your client wants to clarify and strategically pursue God’s calling. That’s great!

Question: How can you empower your client to do this?

Answer: By asking 10 questions:

1. How has God blessed you to pursue His calling?”
2. What problems and opportunities are you passionate about & blessed by God to address?
3. What’s your mission?
4. What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?
5. What’s already been accomplished?
6. What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?
7. What are your options for achieving your goals?
8. What will you do to achieve your goals?
9. What will you do this week?
10. How can you continue to make progress?

Your client will need multiple sessions to reflect on these 10 questions, and your client might benefit from using tools. This set of tools includes a self-assessment and addresses questions 1-7.

Leaders empower others. A key way leaders empower others is by asking questions.



To get an idea of how you can more effectively lead by asking questions, complete the following self-assessment (download). Rate each item, using the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sort of • 1: Rarely


Lead from your heart
___ I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___ I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___ I target motivation, not information.
___ I empower others to take responsibility.
___ I believe that reflection is powerful.
___ I want to help staff be better problem solvers (not to solve their problems).
 
Inquiry skills
___ I ask open-ended questions.
___ I don’t ask “why” questions.
___ I don’t give advice.
___ I easily think of good questions to ask.

Lead by asking questions
___ I ask questions to help others.
 
___ I ask questions to help others reflect.
___ I ask questions to help others get clear.
___ I ask questions to help others prioritize.
___ I ask questions to help others get organized.
 
___ I ask questions to help others focus.
___ I ask questions to help others target their strengths.
___ I ask questions to help others pay attention to their goals.
___ I ask questions to help others reduce their frustrations.
 
___ I lead by asking questions.


Now, ask yourself 5 questions about the data:

1. How many 4s, 3s, 2s, and 1s do I have?
2. What’s encouraging/discouraging about the data?
3. What helps me lead by asking questions?
4. What hinders me from leading by asking questions?
5. What will I do?

Empower others. Lead by asking questions. Today.

You want to pursue God’s calling. You’ve heard about coaching, and you want to explore getting coaching. Good. Start your exploration by watching this 1-minute video.



Does coaching help people pursue God’s calling? Yes.

• As a result of getting coaching, I’ve clarified my ministry, better balanced home and work, and more effectively led change.
• Those I coach consistently testify that coaching helps them achieve their goals.
• And research indicates that coaching, for example, increases training impact by 300%.

To further explore coaching, focus on 4 questions:

1. What is coaching?
2. In coaching, who does what?
3. What could you work on with a coach?
4. Are you ready for coaching? (Download, print, and complete this self-assessment.)

Review: You’ve explored getting coaching by thinking about what coaching is, what the client and coach are responsible for, what you can work on with a coach, and how ready you are to be coached.

Question: What are you going to do?