Empower Others

Now what?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2013-01-07T07:52:56+09:00

You are chatting with Henry, an employee you supervise. Just a regular conversation. But then Henry gets defensive and starts talking loudly. You wonder what happened and so quickly review what the 2 of you have said. You realize that Henry reacted to your comment about Project Z not being on schedule and that now is the time to address how to get this project back on track.

So, you clarify your comment: “Henry, when I said that Project Z is behind schedule, I didn’t mean that it was all your fault. I was just stating the fact.” Then to establish common ground, you say, “We both understand the importance of the project, and we both want to meet the upcoming deadline.”

Henry calms down and nods. And you think, “Now what?” Good question.

When you find yourself asking that question, try using the SALT framework:

Share
Ask
Listen
Take

This framework will help you avoid getting aggressive or defensive, preserve your relationship, and do something to improve the situation. Let me explain:

(1) Share facts (instead of giving interpretations). Why? Because sharing facts helps you moderate your tone of voice—when you’re frustrated or angry, it’s all too easy to talk in ways to cause others to react negatively. Because sharing facts helps you avoid saying volatile things (like “You always do that”) that can cause others to get defensive and stop listening to you. And because sharing facts helps you focus on what actually happened—the facts.

(2) Ask questions to learn about the other person’s thinking (instead of saying what the person is thinking). How do you feel when others say what you’re thinking? Personally, I don’t like it—it seems that they don’t really want to know what I’m thinking and that they’ve already made up their minds. I much prefer that others ask me questions. This shows they are interested in me and my thinking, and questions help me provide quality feedback, questions like “From your perspective, what happened?” and “What am I missing or not understanding?”

(3) Listen to understand (instead of listening to judge). People who listen to judge are more likely to be thinking about how they disagree with what the other person is saying or about what they are going to say next, to interrupt the speaker, and to come across as critical, all of which can shutdown a difficult conversation. People who listen to understand, instead, ask questions and then just listen. They don’t talk, they wait patiently for the other person to speak, they focus on what the other person is saying, and they use eye contact and body language to show interest in what the other person is saying.

(4) Take action together (instead of leaving the matter unresolved). Too often in difficult conversations, we target being heard, rather than resolving the matter. We operate on the assumption that if both side share, the matter will be resolved, only to find out later that it is not. Instead of targeting being heard, target taking action together. How? By collaboratively developing a SMART goal and determining how you will follow up.

Bottom line: SALT difficult conversations.

What about you? Think about a difficult conversation you’ve had:

What were the facts? How well did you share just the facts?
What questions did you ask? What questions could you have asked?
How well did you listen?
What action did you both take?
How could you apply this article in a difficult conversation you need to have or are likely to have?

Want to learn more? Read Crucial Conversations, especially chapters 7-9.

4 ways to lead change even more effectively

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2013-02-07T20:25:48+09:00

You are sitting at a coffee shop, thinking about a change that would make your ministry more fruitful. You are pumped. Then you remember what happened with previous changes you tried. Like when you pushed for working in teams, but no one really understood why. Or when you proposed changing your mission’s organizational structure—everyone seemed like they were on board, you developed a plan for the change, but no one followed up.

You want this change to go better, and you are wondering what you can do. Here are 4 suggestions:

(1) Make your case, instead of announcing the change. I’ve tried announcing. It doesn’t work. For example, I remember emailing a team leader, instructing her to have her team to use a tool. I did not explain why. The result? After 8 years, the team has yet to fully implement the tool.

What should I have done? I should I have made my case by having the team (1) examine the data I had looked at, (2) compare their conclusions about the data with mine, (3) identify how my proposal could help and what might happen if the proposal wasn’t adopted, and (4) give additional feedback on my proposal. Doing this would have taken time, but doing this would have resulted in the team using the tool more.

(2) Once you have made your case for change, you’ll need to collaboratively develop a plan for change. First, get the group involved. The more involved they are, the more they will implement the plan. Next, make sure the group develops a plan that answers these 5 questions: What is our goal? What action steps do we need to take? Who’s responsible for what? What resources are needed? How will we report progress?

(3) Recognize that different people have different responses to change. A few people love change and are ready to try anything new (like those who lined up for hours to get an iPhone 5 the day it came out). Some people will consider the change and implement it. The majority of people, however, will need to see the change being implementing before they take action. Finally, some people might resist the change. Bottom line? Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get everyone on board immediately.

(4) Talk with others before developing policies and procedures. This came home to me while taking a graduate class with school administrators. In teams, we were doing a simulation to see who could implement change the fastest. My team was moving across the board at a good clip, developing policies and procedures.

We were about half way across when another group shouted, “Done!” I was stunned. We had done all the “right” things. How had they beaten us? Simple. They realized that change starts with people, so they talked with others before developing policies and procedures. I’ve never forgotten that lesson.

What can you talk about with others? You can ask how they feel about the change and tell stories about people implementing the change.

What about you?

What is one way you lead change?
What is comfortable/uncomfortable about leading change?
How could you lead change even more effectively?
What will you do?

Remember: You can find ways to lead change even more effectively.

5 ways to lead when you’re not up in front

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2012-12-06T08:11:55+09:00

You don’t have to be up in front to lead. You don’t have to be the team manager, meeting facilitator, or workshop presenter. You can lead without being up in front. This is good news for those who would like to lead but prefer not to be up in front. And this is good news for those who enjoy leading from the front and are looking for more opportunities to lead.

But don’t leaders by definition need to be up in front so their followers can follow them? Not necessarily. Without being up in front, leaders can still lead in a variety of ways, including providing staff support, building confidence, provoking reflection, encouraging partnerships, and helping others grow.

Let me explain. If you want to lead when you’re not up in front, you can . . .

(1) Support others by praying. Ask God to help your ministry team live for him, pursue their callings, and use their gifts. Ask God to help those in your mission and church have good life balance, have healthy relationships, and regularly read the Bible.

(2) Build confidence by believing in others. When people are confident, they serve more effectively. How can you demonstrate that you believe in others? By acting like they can do it, instead of micromanaging. By asking, “What progress did you make?” instead of asking, “Did you make any progress?” By saying, “You have good ideas,” instead of saying, “Here are my ideas.”

(3) Provoke reflection by asking open-ended questions. Reflection helps people to focus, solve problems, and achieve their goals. If a ministry team is having trouble focusing, ask, “What’s your team purpose? What’s it take to achieve that purpose?” If a Sunday school teacher is struggling with how to cover all the material in 45 minutes, ask, “What do you really want the kids to learn? How can you help them learn that?” If a fellow missionary is proposing new activities, ask, “What’s causing you to propose new activities? To what extent will these activities help you achieve your goals?”

(4) Encourage partnerships by connecting people. I’m grateful that friends have connected me with key people. For example, Valerie connected me with Dan, a school consultant. As a result, we’ve refined our odels for Christian education and developed better training materials. I’ve connected house church leaders, providing them with a venue to talk on a regular basis. As a result, they clarified the pros and cons of house churches and identified ways to empower house church members.

(5) Provide resources to help others grow. I’m glad that colleagues recommended books like Crucial Conversations and An Essential Guide to Public Speaking. These books helped me work more effectively with others and focus on serving. I’ve helped others grow by sharing books like Leadership Coaching, blogs like missionalchallenge.com, and online training from leaderbreakthru.com.

Other ways you can lead without being up in front include modeling servanthood, modeling zeal for God, showing you care, spending time with others, and listening.

What about you?

What is one way you lead when you’re not up in front?
What excites/concerns you about leading when you’re not up in front?
How could you lead more effectively?
What will you do?

Remember: You don’t have to be up in front to lead.

How can you encourage safety?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2012-11-05T08:53:37+09:00

You’re in a serious conversation with Steve—and he’s not saying much. You’re thinking, “What’s going on? I mean, we both agreed we needed to talk about the status of this project. We’re not going to get anywhere if he doesn’t talk. Why isn’t he saying anything?”

Then you recall times where you didn’t feel like saying much, either because you found a situation stressful or because you didn’t see the point. Like when you were in a recent planning session and Jim kept interrupting you. Or when your supervisor said loudly and without any warning or explanation, “It’d be good for you to stay in the office more.” Or when you were really looking forward to a quiet weekend and your wife planned a big dinner party without asking you.

Why did you go silent? Because you didn’t feel safe—you didn’t feel respected or you didn’t feel like others cared about your goals.

You look back at Steve, and you ask yourself, “What can I do to encourage Steve to feel safe?” You haven’t been rude or said anything wrong, so you don’t need to apologize. You both care about getting this project done, so you don’t need to show you care about the goal. But you did say something that needs clarification. You said, “Your team isn’t on schedule to meet the project deadline,” and then he stopped talking.

Then it hits you—Steve’s team has really been working hard and prides itself on getting things done on time. And the delay was caused by Mark, a supervisor in another department, making incorrect decisions. As a result of your comment, Steve is thinking that you don’t respect his team.

You say, “When I said your team isn’t on schedule to meet the project deadline, I didn’t mean that your team hasn’t been work hard or that it was your team’s fault. I recognize Mark made some decisions that caused delays. I just meant that the project isn’t on schedule. I said that because I wanted to talk with you about how I can help your team as it works to get the project done on time.”

Steve sighs and re-engages in the conversation.

Bottom line: Encourage safety.

What about you?

What is a conversation you’ve had in which you did not feel safe?
How do you behave in a conversation when you feel safe/unsafe?
What helps you feel safe?
How can you help others feel safe?
How could you apply this article in a serious conversation you need to have or are likely to have?

Want to learn more? Read Crucial Conversations, especially chapter 5.

Difficult conversation?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2013-01-07T07:53:09+09:00

Looking for a model to use when having a difficult conversation? Try this one:

Heart (How is your heart?)
Be aware (What do you need to be aware of?)
Encourage safety (How can you encourage safety?)
Share, Ask, Listen, Take (Now what?)

What do you need to be aware of?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2012-10-04T08:20:41+09:00

What do crossing the street and hitting a tennis ball have in common? They are both situations in which you need to be aware of yourself and others. Let me explain:

(1) Crossing the street: You want to cross the street at an intersection without a stoplight. You pause and look both ways to check for oncoming traffic. You see a single car moving slowly toward you about 3 blocks away, determine that you can safely walk across the street at your usual pace, and proceed. Being aware of yourself and the location of the oncoming car helps you get across the street safely.

(2) Hitting a tennis ball: You’re playing a singles tennis match. It’s the third set, you’re down 4 games to 5, and you need to win this game to stay in the match. Your opponent hits a hard cross-court shot to your forehand and rushes net. As you move to hit the ball, you consider how you will play it. You can go for a passing shot or a lob. You remember that your opponent is a pretty good net player and that earlier in the match you won a point by hitting a deep lob. You hit a deep lob to his backhand corner. Being aware of yourself and your opponent helps you win the point.

Being aware of yourself and others is also helpful when you are having a serious conversation. Imagine you are a math department chair at a high school. You are talking with a teacher about one of her curriculum maps so you can learn about the extent to which she is applying the Understanding by Design framework. You keep in mind that this is the first time the teacher has talked about her maps with someone and that she tends toward perfectionism.

You start slowly, letting the teacher explain her map. Everything seems to be going fine until you ask, “How do your content and skills align with your big ideas?” With an edge in her voice, she replies, “Does everything have to align? Can’t my content and skills just align with my objectives? This is getting to be a hassle.” She stares at you, waiting for a response, and you get uncomfortable.

You think, “Here we go again. She always stonewalls. I’ve talked with her before about aligning content and big ideas—and it’s right on the checklist. All I did was ask a simple question, and she gets snippy, snippy, snippy. Typical. What am I supposed to do now? Maybe I should just let this go. It’d be easier to just move on to another part of the map.”

Then you recognize this is your usual response to conflict and that her defensiveness isn’t aimed at you—it’s just that as a perfectionist, she’s put a lot of effort into this map and has fallen short. You say, “When I asked about the alignment, I wasn’t trying to point out errors. I was trying to learn more about what you are thinking and how I can help. OK?” She replies, “OK,” and you continue your discussion.

Bottom line: In a serious conversation, be aware of yourself and others.

What about you?

What is a serious conversation you have had?
What is comfortable/uncomfortable about serious conversations?
How aware are you of how you behave in a serious conversation?
How aware are you of how others behave in a serious conversation?
How could you apply this article in a serious conversation you need to have or are likely to have?

Want to learn more?
Read Crucial Conversations, especially chapter 4.
Take a free self-assessment about your interaction style when you’re under stress.

How is your heart?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2012-08-16T10:28:44+09:00

Each time, I should have asked myself a question. Just one question. But I didn’t. And that resulted in ill will, disharmony, bad stuff. Bummer.

It’s 1987, my wife and I haven’t been getting along all morning, and I hear myself say in a loud voice, “That’s not the logical way to wash the car.” Not one of my better moments—she has washed way more cars than I have, she is more patient and understanding than I am, and here I am pontificating on the logical way to wash the car. My wife replies with understandable vehemence, “There’s a logical way to wash a car?” Before speaking, I should have asked myself a question.

It’s June, the end of the school year. I’m in my office, and I realize I have not yet gotten a curriculum document from a high school teacher. Classes are over for the day, so I head to his classroom. I knock, step in, and see him sitting at his desk, marking papers—report cards are due in a few days. But since I’m not teaching, I don’t pay attention to this. Instead, I ask, “Could I get that curriculum document from you?” (Again, not one of my better moments.) He says, “It’s not yet done.” I reply, “You should have had it done by now,” and leave the room. Before speaking, I should have asked myself a question.

What question? I should have asked myself, “How is my heart?” If I had done so, I would have reflected on what God says and what I really wanted; consequently, I would have handled things better.

If I had asked myself “How is my heart?” I would have remembered that God says the human heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9)—when I thought I was talking with my wife about the logical way to wash the car, what I was really doing was getting back at her for the morning’s disharmony (which in all probability I caused). I would have kept in mind God’s command to love Him with my whole heart and my neighbor as myself (Matthew 22:37-39)—when I was asking the teacher for the curriculum document in June, I was focused on myself, used bad timing, and took out my frustration on the teacher, instead of being supportive.

And maybe if I’d have asked myself “How is my heart?” I would have focused on what I really wanted:

What I wanted to avoid (ill will and disharmony)
What I wanted to preserve (unity in Christ)
What I wanted to achieve (pursuing my calling by having a good morning with my wife and by supporting the teacher in developing the curriculum)

Instead of asking myself the question to get me reflecting on what God says and what I really wanted, I blew it. Plain and simple.

Bottom line: The next time you’re about to express your frustration (or when you know you’re struggling with how to handle a key conversation), ask yourself, “How’s my heart?”

What about you?

What is a conversation you didn’t handle well?
How did you feel during that conversation?
How was your heart? (How well did you remember what God’s Word says? How clear were you on what you wanted to avoid, preserve, and achieve?)
How could you apply this article in a key conversation you need to have/are likely to have?

Want to learn more?

Study God’s Word: Jeremiah 17:9 (and Matthew 7:1-5), Proverbs 4:23 (and Matthew 12:34), Matthew 22:37-39, Matthew 6:33, and James 3:1-12.
Explore using avoid, preserve, and achieve.
Read Crucial Conversations, especially chapters 1-3.

God is growing His people

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2012-09-13T09:08:28+09:00

Imagine you’re sitting at a coffee shop. Across the table from you is a Christian leader you want to help grow. As you sip your coffee, you both share about your families and ministries. You notice that he seems a little anxious, so you ask, “How’s it going? Really?” He pauses, looks at you, and says that he’s discouraged and wondering if he should continue his ministry.

And now you start to feel a little anxious. Questions race through your mind: What should I say? How should I say it? What advice should I give? How can I help?

My advice? Remember three things. First, remember that God is growing His people, and the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer. God is already at work in the life of this leader. To help him grow, God saved him, gave him key relationships, blessed him with abilities and character qualities, and provided him with education and useful ministry experiences.

Second, remember that while God may use you to help this leader grow, it’s God who is actually growing this leader. God can do it!

And third, remember that because God is at work in this leader (Romans 8:28-29), you’re free. You’re free not to give suggestions or advice to him. And you’re free to invite him to listen to the Holy Spirit, to inquire about how God is working in his life and what the Holy Spirit is saying to him, to focus him on what the Holy Spirit wants him to do, and to encourage him to consider his goals in light of God’s Word and leading.

So, how should you respond to this leader who is discouraged about his ministry and wondering if he should continue? How about asking questions? You could ask: How’s your relationship with God? What’s the Holy Spirit been saying to you? What might God be teaching you? How might God be using this to help you grow?

Remember, God is growing His people, and the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer.

Reflect on the Holy Spirit’s work:

How is God growing you? How is the Holy Spirit working in your heart?
How do you feel about the Holy Spirit working in the lives of leaders you work with?
What happens when Christian leaders focus on what the Holy Spirit is saying to them?
To help Christian leaders focus on what the Holy Spirit is saying to them, what do you need to keep doing? start doing? stop doing?
How will you demonstrate that you believe the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer?

People grow as they take responsibility

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2012-05-17T07:48:46+09:00

I grow when I take responsibility. I grow when I take responsibility to define, commit to, and achieve my goals. Defining my goals helps me understand how I can more effectively pursue God’s calling. Committing to my goals helps me know what to focus on and what not to focus on. And working to achieve my goals results in things like a growing spiritual life and better life balance.

How about you? How does taking responsibility affect your growth? And how does taking responsibility to define, commit to, and achieve goals affect the growth of the leaders you’re developing?

Want to help others grow by empowering them to take responsibility? If so, do these 4 things: (1) To empower others, listen to them. Help them take responsibility by listening to them, instead of talking. Listen a minimum of 80% of the time. Listen in order to help them talk through what their goals are. And when you listen, be sure you look interested and sound interested.

(2) To empower others, inquire about their goals. Help them take responsibility by asking questions, instead of suggesting goals. Ask questions like: What are your goals? How can you pursue God’s calling even more? Where are you and where do you want to go? What can you do to move forward on your goals? What will you do?

(3) To empower others, focus them on their goals. Help them take responsibility by encouraging them to identify their goals. You can do this by inviting them to take 5-10 minutes to list their goals for areas like spiritual life, relationships, leadership, work, and life balance. After they have identified their goals, invite them to select a goal and identify the action steps they can take to achieve that goal. Encourage them to make their action steps SMART—specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timebound.

(4) To empower others, encourage them to achieve their goals. Help them take responsibility by encouraging them to talk about progress on their goals. It’s easy to do—when you see a leader, say, “Tell me about the progress you’ve made on your goals.” And when they achieve their goals, encourage them to celebrate!

Remember, people grow as they take responsibility.

Reflect on responsibility:

What is one way you encourage leaders to take responsibility?
What is satisfying/unsatisfying about getting leaders to take responsibility?
How does taking responsibility affect the growth of leaders?
What can you do to help leaders increasingly take responsibility?
What will you do to help leaders increasingly take responsibility?

Believe in others to empower them to grow

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-11-11T08:34:28+09:00

You and I both want to grow. We want to grow so we can pursue God’s calling even more. So, we target growth areas like leadership, spiritual disciplines, conflict management, life balance, and Japanese language proficiency.

You and I both know that people who believe in us empower us to grow. I’ve experienced it in my own life. You have, too. When people believe in me, I can do more. I remember talking with my regional director about a workshop. He invited me to lead workshop sessions about focusing on the mission’s purpose and on asking open-ended questions. I felt hesitant. So, I asked some questions. He responded, “Do what you want. I trust you. You’ll know what to do.” I was energized to develop and deliver quality workshops.

I’ve also experienced that believing in others empowers them to grow. For example, I was working with a missionary who was serving in a new ministry, one that really stretched him. I was listening as he reflected on the past 9 months. And then he said, “One of the biggest things you did for me was believe in me. You thought I could do it. That gave me confidence to accomplish new things.”

As a result of these and other experiences, I’ve become increasingly convinced that believing in others helps them grow. I now work to interact with others in ways that show I believe in them. For example, I target helping others become better problem solvers (instead of targeting solving their problems). I also strive to listen (instead of talking), ask questions (instead of advising), focus on drawing out (instead of on putting in), and encourage (instead of critiquing)—remember, Barnabas encouraged Paul.

Empower God’s people to pursue their calling. Believe in someone. Today.

Reflect on believing in others:

Who is someone who believed in you? What was the impact of being believed in?
Who is someone who didn’t believe in you? How did he/she communicate this?
What excites/concerns you about believing in others?
How does believing in others empower them to pursue God’s calling?
How could you show that you believe in others?
How will you show that you believe in others?

How can you help others pursue excellence?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-09-19T14:50:10+09:00

By asking questions like:

What’s excellence?
What’s satisfying/unsatisfying about pursuing organizational excellence?
For your ministry, what does organizational excellence look like?
What can you do to pursue organizational excellence?
What will you do?

Provoke reflection throughout your mission

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-08-05T20:27:09+09:00

I’m watching missionaries, who are sitting in pairs, deeply engaged in conversation. These missionaries are asking each other key questions: What people/projects are you investing your energy in? What’s been satisfying/frustrating? What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction/frustration? How can I pray for you?

I’m thinking, “This is going pretty well. They’re more engaged than if I did the traditional style of devotions. They’re provoking each other to reflect. And they look like they’re having a good time. Having them use a set of questions worked.”

Want to provoke reflection throughout your mission? Have people in your mission use a set of questions to talk together.

For example, when you are starting a mission gathering and need an icebreaker, have participants ask each other a set of questions: When you were in 5th grade, where did you live? What did you enjoy doing? What’s easy/challenging about living in this country? In your recent personal life, what’s been encouraging/discouraging? Overall, how are you feeling? How can I pray for you?

When you’re leading a team meeting and want team members to reflect on ministry goals, have team members ask each other a set of questions: What are your ministry goals? What progress on your goals have you experienced? What roadblocks have you experienced? How can you leverage your progress and minimize your roadblocks? You talked about _____ today—what do you think you’ll do?

When you’re leading a workshop on getting more organized, have participants ask each other a set of questions: What tools do you use to get organized? How do you feel when you’re organized/disorganized? For you, what does being organized look like? To get organized, what do you need to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing? What will you do?

Use the following set of questions to reflect on this article:

What is 1 thing from this article that interested you?
What excites/concerns you about provoking reflection throughout your mission?
How could using a set of questions help you provoke reflection?
When could you use a set of questions to provoke reflection?
What will you do?

How often do you refrain from advising others on what actions to take?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-05-11T20:35:00+09:00

Your client wants to better organize the files in his computer. So you ask him questions like: How are your computer files organized now? What do you like/dislike about the way your computer files are organized? What does being “better organized” look like? In terms of being organized, what do you want to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing?

Your client responds to your questions and does some effective reflection. He brainstorms some possible action plans and decides to talk with Martin about how to better organize computer files. You ask, “What else will you do?” You wait for about 10 seconds—your client doesn’t come with another action step. Then you say, “You should organize your files in terms of your job roles….”

Not good. Why? Because by suggesting action steps, you could be interrupting your client’s thinking. Because by suggesting action steps, you are doing your client’s work for him. Because by suggesting action steps, you are acting like a consultant, not a coach.

My point: Make sure you consistently refrain from advising others on what actions to take.

Question: How often do you refrain from advising others on what actions to take?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from advising others on what actions to take?

How often do you use affirmation to encourage others?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-04-14T20:34:00+09:00

Your client is sharing the results of the 2 action steps she’s taken to get better life balance. She walked for 30 minutes each day and is feeling more relaxed. And when her supervisor asked her to design a newsletter, she responded with, “I’m happy to design a newsletter. What would you like me to stop working on in order do this?” Her supervisor said she should stop work on a promotional video!

You look at your client and say, “You’ve made real progress on getting better life balance. You accomplished your 2 action steps. You’re more relaxed, and you took on a new task without increasing your overall workload. Good for you!” Your client has a big smile on her face. She looks encouraged.

My point: Use affirmation to encourage others.

Question: How often do you use affirmation to encourage others?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently use affirmation to encourage others. And when you give affirmation, make sure your affirmation is:

Growth-centered
Relevant
Authentic
Client-focused
Energizing
Specific

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently use affirmation to encourage others?

How often do you use clarification to encourage others?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-03-18T20:33:27+09:00

I’m talking with a friend about how I can more effectively help an organization build capacity. I share that I’m not sufficiently aware of how the organization is responding to my recommendations. My friend asks, “What do you mean by ‘not sufficiently aware’?” I explain that I get no feedback so I don’t know which (if any) recommendations the organization has processed, and I don’t know what the organization thinks of my recommendations.

Then I go on to describe how I got involved with the organization. I share that the organization has asked me to submit recommendations in writing and that I don’t have the opportunity to discuss my recommendations with someone on staff. My friend asks, “So are you saying that you want to talk through your recommendations with someone in the organization?”

I like his questions. I like his questions because they show he’s listening. And I like his questions because they show he’s interested in me and in what I’m saying. His use of clarification encourages me to keep thinking and to find ways to help the organization.

Question: How often do you use clarification to encourage others?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

My point: Make sure you consistently use clarification to encourage others.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently use clarification to encourage others?

How often do you use “encouragers” to encourage others?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-02-18T09:32:40+09:00

In Japan, the listener shows that he’s listening by saying things like “hai hai,” (um hm) and “naruhodo” (I see). When the person talking hears these phrases, he’s encouraged to continue talking. In a real sense, these phrases are “encouragers.”

My point: Use “encouragers” to encourage your clients to keep talking and reflecting. When you’re coaching, say things like “yup,” “yes,” “um hmm,” “I see,” and “hmm.”

Question: How often do you use “encouragers” to encourage others?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Question: What will do to ensure that you consistently use “encouragers” to encourage others?

How often do you refrain from asking “why” questions?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-01-20T09:31:00+09:00

Ever been asked, “Why did you do that?” I have. While it does get me thinking, it also gets me feeling accused. And sometimes the feeling of being accused gets in the way of me thinking about why I did something.

The question “Why did you do that?” taps into childhood memories of really stupid things I’ve done (like when I was a young boy, I thought I could jump across a large manure pit, and fell in instead) and of my parents looking at me, wondering what I was thinking.

My point: If you want to help your coaching clients to reflect, and if you don’t want your clients feeling accused, refrain from asking “why” questions.

Question: How do often you refrain from asking “why” questions?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from asking “why” questions. One thing that helps me do this is asking questions that start with “what.” For example, “What caused you to do that?” (instead of “Why did you do that?”).

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from asking “why” questions?

How often do you target understanding?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-12-15T09:30:01+09:00

A key reason I get coaching is because I want to understand and be understood. I want to understand, for example, what’s happening with a transition to living in a different culture for 6 months, how I feel about it, and how I can use it to further my goals. And I want to be understood—I want my coach to understand what I’m thinking and feeling, for example, about living in a different culture.

I don’t get coaching because I want to be judged. I don’t get coaching so I can hear my coach say things like “Living in a different culture is a bad idea” or “You shouldn’t feel apprehensive about living in a different culture” or “That’s a stupid action step.”

My point: If you want to help your coaching clients, listen to them. And when you listen, target understanding (not judging).

Question: How often do you target understanding?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently target understanding. Things that help me do this include:

Remembering as a client how helpful it is when my coach really wants to understand me.
Remembering how much I dislike getting judged and how getting judging decreases my ability to reflect.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently target understanding?

How often do you refrain from criticizing your client?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-11-16T09:28:04+09:00

I’ve gotten coaching on things that had obvious solutions. For example, I’ve gotten coaching on how avoid getting overloaded at a conference, when the (obvious) solution was to schedule down time. I’ve gotten coaching on which new goals to pursue, when the (obvious) solution was not to pursue any—my schedule was already full.

I’m glad that my coaches empowered me to discover effective action steps. I’m glad they didn’t say things like, “It’s a conference—you shouldn’t be focused on avoiding overload” or “Look, your schedule is already full, so thinking about which new goals to pursue is a bad idea.” I’m glad that coaches refrained from criticizing me.

Question: How often do you refrain from criticizing your client?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from criticizing your client. Things that help me do this include the following:

Remembering how criticism shuts down my thinking—and the thinking of my clients.
Focusing on helping my client discover action steps that will help him reach his goals.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from criticizing your client?

How often do you make inviting statements?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-10-14T20:27:30+09:00

My client wants to prioritize her tasks. So, I start by asking questions like “What tasks need to get done?” and “What else?” My client mentions a variety of tasks, including updating materials for a workshop on personal productivity, finalizing a presentation on planning tools for the leadership team, and attending a network meeting of church planters. Then she pauses and says, “I really need to get after my workshop materials.”

I notice her emphasis on workshop materials. Instead of asking a question, I make an inviting statement: “You mentioned that you need to update workshop materials and then you came back to that again. Tell me more about that.” She shares that she’s concerned about the workshop materials and that she’s been wondering if she should expand the number of workshops she’s doing.

My point: Make inviting statements.

Question: How often do you make inviting statements?

Things that help me make inviting statements include the following:

Recognizing that inviting statements help me reflect.
Remembering that inviting statements are an effective alternative to questions.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you make inviting statements?

How often are you interested in what others say?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-09-16T20:26:02+09:00

Your mind is starting to wander. Your responses lack your usual focus and enthusiasm. When your calendar alarm goes off, you focus on it and miss a key thought your client has shared. And you’re concerned because you know these things indicate that you’re not really interested in what your client is saying.

Question: How often are you interested in what others say?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you’re consistently interested in what others say. Things that help me do this include the following:

Focusing on my client as a fellow Christian who is working to pursue his calling.
Making appropriate eye contact.
Removing distractions before I start coaching. For example, if I’m using videoconferencing to coach, I turn off all other software applications.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently are interested in what others say?

How often do you refrain from suggesting options?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-08-16T20:24:00+09:00

Your client has explored what’s happening with her goal to make a career transition. You ask, “What can you do to move forward?” You wait about 15 seconds—your client doesn’t say anything. You rephrase the question and ask, “What are your options?’’ And you wait for about 10 seconds—your client doesn’t say anything. Then you say, “Here are 3 things you could do.…”

Not good. Why? Because by suggesting options you did the work your client is supposed to do. Because your suggestions interrupted some really good ideas your client was having—she wasn’t sitting there doing nothing. Because you hear your client say, “I appreciate your willingness to help. I was coming up with some good ideas, and when you gave your suggestions, I focused on listening to you. Now I’m having trouble remembering what I was thinking.” Ouch.

Question: How often to you refrain from suggesting options?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from suggesting options. Things that help me do this include the following:

Remembering that silence indicates reflection, not the absence of reflection.
Remembering that brainstorming options helps my client get motivated for action. And I want my client motivated for action.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from suggesting options?

How often do you refrain from describing your client’s reality?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-07-11T00:23:07+09:00

Your client is talking about what’s happening with his goal to plan more effectively. You easily relate to this—a few years back you had a similar goal. Since then, you’ve done research on planning, coached 27 clients who are working on planning, and developed a 5-phase planning framework.

As you listen to your client, you think, “He’s at phase 2.” Your client pauses, and you hear yourself say, “As best I can tell, you’re in phase 2—you’re working and you have a plan. Since you don’t yet have a good documented plan, you follow your gut more than your plan.”

Then you recognize that you just described your client’s reality—something you don’t want to do. Because you want your client thinking, and when you describe your client’s reality, he’s not thinking.

Question: How often do you refrain from describing your client’s reality?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from describing your client’s reality. Two things that help me do this are:

Remembering that my client is the expert in his life—not me. He knows his reality.
Remembering that my goal is to get my client thinking about his reality.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from describing your client’s reality?

How often do you refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-06-14T21:21:49+09:00

You ask your client, “What would you like to accomplish as a result of talking today?” Your client responds, “I didn’t really think about what I wanted to accomplish today. Nothing’s coming to mind. Got any ideas?”

This has happened with this client before. You quickly process through previous coaching sessions and think of 3 possible goals for the session. And you say, “How about how to handle email more effectively, how to make more time to talk with the kids, or how to more effectively target personal strengths?”

After asking the question, you realize that you’re suggesting goals for the coaching session. This is something you don’t want to do. Why? Because your client grows as she takes responsibility for identifying goals for a coaching session.

Question: How often do you refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching sessions. Things that help me do this include the following:

Sharing with new and current clients that they are responsible for setting goals for coaching sessions and that setting goals helps them grow.
Recognizing that if a client doesn’t have a goal for a session, now is a good time to have the client develop a list of goals.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

How can you help others to work smarter?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2011-03-18T20:50:50+09:00

By asking questions like:

What’s your ministry?
How do you feel about your ministry and your workload?
How interested are you in getting more done in the same amount of time?
What helps you work efficiently and effectively? What doesn’t help you?
What can you do to work smarter?
What will you do?

How can you focus others?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-05-18T02:31:00+09:00

By asking questions like:

What’s your mission statement?
What excites/concerns you about the mission?
How does your work help achieve the mission?
What helps you achieve the mission? What gets in your way?
On a scale of 1-5 (5 being high), how focused are you on your mission statement?
What can you do to increase your focus?
What will you do?

Leaders, empower others by asking questions

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-09-16T21:28:18+09:00

Do you want to empower others? Do you want to empower others to focus, solve problems, and achieve their goals? If so, provoke them. Provoke them to reflect.

Reflection is powerful. Personally speaking, reflection helps me clarify my ministry goals, increase awareness of my progress, identify things that are hindering my progress, and develop action steps. In short, reflection helps me do ministry.

I’ve seen reflection help fellow staff members at Christian Academy in Japan (CAJ). After reflecting, staff members were more focused on their goals, managed their time better, and led meetings more effectively.

But don’t take my word for it. I asked CAJ staff members to tell me how reflection empowers them. Here’s what they said: “Reflection helps me get clear on what’s going on so I can make effective decisions.” “Reflection helps me organize my tasks and next actions.” “Reflection helps me handle situations more effectively.”

So, how can you provoke reflection? By asking open-ended questions:

If your co-worker wants to more effectively disciple others, ask: How do you disciple people now? What’s causing you to want to improve? What’s “more effective discipleship” look like? What can you do?
If your team is planning an event, ask: What do we want to see happen? What will help this go well? Who’s going to do what?
If a pastor is dealing with conflict, ask: What happened? How do you feel? How does the other person see the situation? How can you demonstrate Christ’s love?
If a small group leader wants to help her members to be more engaged, ask: If your members got more engaged, what might happen? What helps your members get engaged? When are your participants not engaged? What can you do?

Bottom line: Empower other by asking questions.

*Want to empower others to ask questions? Then ask them questions like:

What problems are those around you facing?
What goals are they trying to achieve?
What excites/concerns you about empowering others by asking questions?
To what extent do you ask questions to help others focus? Prioritize? Solve problems?
How could you more effectively use questions to empower others?
What will you do?

Use the GROW process

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-04-01T00:58:55+09:00

The GROW process is a user-friendly process you can use to coach others (Goal • Reality • Options • Will do).

Use LIFE skills

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-04-01T00:57:07+09:00

When coaching, listen, inquire, focus, and encourage.

The coach's heart

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-04-01T00:55:00+09:00

Christian coaching flows from the heart, from beliefs about empowering others.

Use coaching to empower others

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-04-01T00:54:01+09:00

If you want to empower others, use a coaching approach.

To encourage coaching, get staff to ask questions

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-01-22T13:42:43+09:00

Want to encourage coaching in your organization? One way I encourage coaching is by developing sets of questions to be used in meetings and workshops. As a result of using sets of questions in meetings and workshops, staff have shifted toward asking questions and away from giving advice.

In the planning sessions I'm facilitating today, participants are using the following sets of questions to help others reflect:

Set 1

What’s your mission?
What’s it take to carry out your mission?
What’s already been accomplished?
What helps you?
What hinders you?
What are your options?
What will you do to achieve your goals?

Set 2

What is your mission? What are your goals?
How would you categorize progress on your goals? Why?
To what extent do your current action steps help you address your goals?

Set 3

What topics did you talk about in your tactical meeting?
What action steps are you going to take before your next meeting?
What did you learn by trying out different roles?
What will help your team work together better?

What helps a mission move toward coaching?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-06-02T15:22:47+09:00

The following is the transcript of an interview about moving a mission toward coaching. The interviewee is a veteran missionary.

What challenges do your mission staff face? Missionaries need greater clarity on ministry goals and when enough work is enough. Life balance issues are huge. Our missionaries need more support to put into practice what they already know.

What do your missionaries know about coaching? There’s a general awareness of coaching. About 50% of our people have had some exposure to coaching. Some have received coaching, and some have been in 1-day coaching workshops.

What excites you about having your missionaries get coaching? When people get coached, they make progress. Sometimes they get clear on what their goals are. Through coaching, our staff would receive strategic encouragement.

What concerns you? Some feel that coaching is a fad, so it might be hard to move in this direction. Another thing is that there’s the danger of coaches stepping out of their role and giving direction.

If your mission members got coaching, what might happen? People would be more focused on what they came to do, what they should be about, and confident that they’re doing what they should be doing.

What helps you move your mission toward getting your missionaries involved in coaching? A network of other coaches who prod me to continue on this path.

What hinders you? Busyness. Other things. Limited authority.

What are your options? I can keep on coaching people. I can encourage people to get coach training and to get a coach.

What will you do? I’m going to talk with the person responsible for member care about coaching.

How can you improve your coaching?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-12-22T07:35:29+09:00

When I think of improving my coaching, 3 areas come to mind. Those 3 areas are beliefs, skills, and process.

How can you encourage coaching in your organization?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-12-08T07:23:54+09:00

That’s a good question. Let me respond by asking you a question: What encouraged you to get coached and to coach others? Figure out what encouraged you and use that to encourage coaching in your organization.

What initially encouraged me to get coached was reading about coaching and talking with a friend about how coaching encouraged him and helped him achieve his goals. What really sold me on getting coached was the results I got from getting coached—I felt encouraged, I was better able to achieve my personal and professional goals, and I was empowered to pursue God’s calling.

What encouraged me to coach others was the results I got from getting coached, talking with a friend who coached others, reading books, and completing a coaching certification program.

Question: So, how can you encourage coaching in your organization?

Answer: Based on what encouraged me to get coaching and coach others, I suggest you consider taking action steps like:

Continuing getting coached yourself, coaching others, and talking about the results of coaching.
Helping leaders understand what coaching is and how they can benefit from it.
Getting leaders to receive coaching.
Training leaders to coach others.
Getting leaders to start coaching key staff members and use coaching skills throughout the day.
Helping staff understand what coaching is and how they can benefit from it.
Getting more and more staff to receiving coaching.
Training staff to coach others.
Getting staff to start coaching other staff members and use coaching skills throughout the day.

You might be thinking, “Looks like I should take those steps in the order they are listed.” I can see why you would think that, and generally speaking, taking the steps in the order listed is helpful. But, there is no one right way to do it—for example, you can take the steps in a different order if that is what works best for you and your organization.

Question: How can you determine the action steps you want to take and the sequence of those action steps?

Answer: I suggest that you get a team together and:

Share what encouraged you to get coached, what encouraged you to coach others, and how coaching has helped you and others.
Reflect on the benefits of establishing a coaching culture.
Take a self-assessment on how a coaching culture could help your organization, and discuss your assessment results.
Review the action steps listed above. Then, determine what action steps you will take and the order of those action steps.

Question: What might encouraging coaching in your organization look like?

Answer: Here’s an example. Let’s assume you’ve already talked with your team about establishing a coaching culture, and you’ve determined that you want to start by introducing everyone to coaching through a 3-hour workshop:

Your goals for the workshop include having participants:

Reflect on the power of questions.
Understand what coaching is and how it works.
Experience leading by asking questions/coaching.
Get more interested in getting coached and getting coach training.

To prepare leaders and staff for the workshop, you:

Ask them to take a short online tutorial on exploring getting coaching.
Encourage key staff (especially the members of your team) to experience coaching by providing coaching sessions at their convenience.

Then during the 3-hour workshop, you have participants:

(10 minutes) Listen to 1 or more testimonials on how coaching has helped.
(10 minutes) Watch 2 people model coaching by using a set of questions, for example: What people/projects are you spending your time/energy on? What’s been satisfying/frustrating? What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction/frustration? What do you think you’ll do?
(25 minutes) Use a set of questions to talk with a partner (What people/projects are you spending your time/energy on? What’s been satisfying/frustrating? What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction/frustration? How can I pray for you?). Then, pray together.
(20 minutes) Reflect on why God asks questions.
(30 minutes) Read and discuss 1 or more articles on Christian coaching that include an emphasis on asking questions, for example: “Lead by Asking Questions,” “The Startup Guide to Coaching Leaders,” “The Coaching Approach to Growth,” “The Heart of a Coach,” and “What is ‘Coaching’ to You?” (Additional resources are available through Close the Gap Now, Creative Results Management, The Christian Coaching Center, and Coach22.)
(15 minutes) Break
(20 minutes) Take and discuss a self-assessment on leading by asking questions.
(25 minutes) Use a set of questions to help a partner process something. (Time permitting, debrief this.)
(15 minutes) Use a set of questions to debrief the workshop, for example: What did we do during the workshop? What excites/concerns you about leading by asking questions? What excites/concerns you about coaching? What insights did you have? How could leading by asking questions/coaching help us? What’s next? (This can be done in partners/small groups and then as a whole group.)
(10 minutes) Receive information about how they can get coach training and coaching.

After the workshop, you will:

Continue getting coached, coaching others, and talking about the results of coaching.
Continue meeting as a team to talk about encouraging coaching and to identify action steps.
Provide coaching and encourage staff (especially leaders) to receive coaching.
Provide coach training.
Provide reading material.

Reflect: How are you going to encourage coaching in your organization? What action steps are you going to take? In what order?

*Want additional resources on coaching?

Tutorials
Videos
Blog entries on coaching culture
Books
Newsletters
Training: Close the Gap Now, Creative Results Management

Help missionaries feel good about getting coaching

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-11-03T08:12:40+09:00

You're a missionary serving in Latin America. You send monthly newsletters to your supporters, and you send monthly reports to your mission. Each time you send a newsletter, you receive encouraging emails and notes; each time you send a report, you receive an acknowledgement (and most times not even that). Unless things aren't going well—then you receive “feedback.”

Now you learn that your mission wants to encourage you to get coaching.

How do you feel about getting coaching? I wouldn’t be feeling good. And I'd be thinking, "Am I doing something wrong? Is something not going well? I think things are going well, so maybe coaching is for others. The mission tends to offer help when things aren't going well, so coaching probably wouldn't be useful."

My point: If you want missionaries to feel good about getting coaching, you may need to help them see coaching as a way of getting positive feedback. You can do this by:

Explaining that the coach provides encouragement (not criticism).
Sharing that coaching is a way to build on strengths.
Emphasizing that in coaching, the client (not the supervisor) decides what to work on.

What are some other ways you can help missionaries feel good about getting coaching?

How can you help missionaries value growth?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-09-02T14:01:06+09:00

If you want to help missionaries value getting coaching, you may need to start by helping them value personal and professional growth. Why? Because coaching is about growth, and if missionaries don’t value growth, they won’t seek coaching.

Question: Why might missionaries not value personal and professional growth?

Answer: Because they focus on serving others. Because they work in an organization that doesn’t have an organizational growth plan or a professional development plan. Because their mission doesn’t emphasize personal or professional growth.

Question: How can you help missionaries value growth?

Answer: By asking questions like “If you could grow in one area of your life, what would it be?” And by encouraging missions to develop organizational growth plans and professional development plans—this will help missions emphasize personal and professional growth.

Question: What strategies have you found useful in helping missionaries value personal and professional growth?

How can you help missionaries value getting asked questions?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-08-29T07:35:53+09:00

Missionaries want to proclaim the good news of Jesus. So, they do evangelism, baptize and disciple believers, and preach during worship services. God uses these activities to build His kingdom. These activities tend to flow from an advice-giving paradigm, rather than a question-asking paradigm.

Implications: Missionaries have more experience with giving advice than with asking questions. And missionaries value getting advice than more than getting asked questions—which is one reason they don’t pursue getting coaching.

Question: How can you help missionaries value getting asked questions?

My answer: I’m publishing sets of coaching questions in a quarterly magazine that missionaries I know read. I’m encouraging missions to publish short articles on asking questions.

Question: What strategies have you found useful in helping missionaries value getting asked questions?

How would establishing a coaching culture help your organization?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-08-15T05:21:08+09:00

In a coaching culture, staff members empower each other through listening, inquiry, focusing on SMART actions, and encouragement. To find out how establishing a coaching culture would help you, take the following self-assessment (download). Circle the number that comes closest to representing how true the statement is for your organization right now. Use the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sometimes • 1: Rarely

Culture
___ We communicate effectively.
___ We have good morale.
___ We have good staff longevity.
___ We support staff to achieve work-related goals.
___ We support staff to achieve personal goals.
___ We don’t experience fear of change.
___ We collaborate (instead of conflicting).
___ We focus on results (instead of activity).
___ We focus on the mission (instead of other good things).
___ We focus on working smarter (instead of working harder).
___ We pursue defined goals (instead of pursuing undefined goals).

Coaching skills
___ We listen (instead of talking).
___ We inquire (instead of giving advice).
___ We focus others on taking SMART actions (instead of letting others take undefined action).
___ We encourage (instead of criticizing).

Coaching skills usage
___ We use coaching skills to move in new directions.
___ We use coaching skills to influence each other.
___ We use coaching skills to collaborate with each other.
___ We empower others to solve their problems (instead of solving others’ problems).
___ We support, encourage, and hold others accountable to achieve goals more (instead of just assigning goals).

Coaching culture building blocks
___ Leaders receive coaching.
___ Leaders have taken at least 12-hours of coach training.
___ Leaders coach staff.
___ Leaders use coaching skills throughout the day.
___ Leaders communicate about how coaching helps them and the organization.
___ Staff understand what coaching is and how they can benefit from it.
___ Staff receive coaching.

Now, ask yourself 5 questions about the data:

How many 4s, 3s, 2s, and 1s do I have?
What excites/concerns me about the data?
How would establishing a coaching culture help?
What can I do to encourage the development of a coaching culture?
What will I do?

Empower others. Develop a coaching culture.

Lead with questions

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-07-20T16:36:56+09:00

Leaders empower others. A key way leaders empower others is by asking questions.

How can you help missionaries value getting asked questions?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-07-03T11:51:59+09:00

Missionaries want to proclaim the good news of Jesus. So, they do evangelism, baptize and disciple believers, and preach during worship services. God uses these activities to build His kingdom. These activities tend to flow from an advice-giving paradigm, rather than a question-asking paradigm.

Implications: Missionaries have more experience with giving advice than with asking questions. And missionaries value getting advice than more than getting asked questions—which is one reason they don't pursue getting coaching.

Question: How can you help missionaries value getting asked questions?

My answer: By publishing sets of coaching questions in a quarterly magazine (Japan Harvest) that missionaries I know read. By encouraging missions to publish short articles on asking questions. Here's an example.

Question: What strategies have you found useful in helping missionaries value getting asked questions?

Lead by asking questions

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-06-17T14:01:24+09:00

To get an idea of how you can more effectively lead by asking questions, complete the following self-assessment (or download it here). Rate each item, using the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sort of • 1: Rarely

Lead from your heart
___ I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___ I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___ I target motivation, not information.
___ I empower others to take responsibility.
___ I believe that reflection is powerful.
___ I want to help staff be better problem solvers (not to solve their problems).

Inquiry skills
___ I ask open-ended questions.
___ I don’t ask “why” questions.
___ I don’t give advice.
___ I easily think of good questions to ask.

Lead by asking questions
___ I ask questions to help others.

___ I ask questions to help others reflect.
___ I ask questions to help others get clear.
___ I ask questions to help others prioritize.
___ I ask questions to help others get organized.

___ I ask questions to help others focus.
___ I ask questions to help others target their strengths.
___ I ask questions to help others pay attention to their goals.
___ I ask questions to help others reduce their frustrations.

___ I lead by asking questions.

Now, ask yourself 5 questions about the data:

How many 4s, 3s, 2s, and 1s do I have?
What’s encouraging/discouraging about the data?
What helps me lead by asking questions?
What hinders me from leading by asking questions?
What will I do?

Empower others. Lead by asking questions. Today.

How often do you refrain from giving advice/suggestions?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-04-16T08:38:00+09:00

You want to help people. I do, too. One way to help people is by giving advice. But there are some definite downsides to giving advice:

You might irritate someone by giving unsolicited advice.
Your advice might work for you and not for the person you’re talking to.
If someone takes your advice and it doesn’t work, that might harm your relationship.
Giving advice doesn’t target developing the person into a better problem solver—it targets solving the immediate problem.

I don't want to irritate people, give advice that doesn’t work, put my relationships at risk, or only solve the immediate problem. I want people to solve their own problems by developing as problem solvers. So, I strive to refrain from giving advice.

Question: How often do you refrain from giving advice?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Strive to consistently refrain from giving advice. Strive to consistently focus on what others think in order to help them become better problem solvers. When you are tempted to give advice or when you find yourself focusing on what you are thinking, ask an open-ended question instead:

What’s your goal?
What’s going on?
What are your options?
What will you do?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently refrain from giving advice?

How often do you use restatement to encourage others?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-03-17T08:35:00+09:00

I like getting encouragement. I like it more than getting critiques. Encouragement feels better and actually results in me working more effectively.

I believe in the power of encouragement, so I want to encourage others. One way I encourage others is by listening to what they say. And one way I demonstrate that I’m listening is by restating what the other person has been saying. Through restatement I show I’ve been listening and that I want to understand. For example, I might say, “If I understand correctly, you’re saying that ___. Is that right?”

Question: How often do you use restatement to encourage others?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Strive to consistently use restatement to encourage others. To encourage others, say things like: So what I think I hear you saying is ___. Is that right?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently encourage others through restatement?

*To learn more about encouraging others, click here.

How often do you focus others on developing SMART action steps?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-02-08T07:30:00+09:00

What helps me get my goals accomplished? Developing my own action steps, action steps that I’m motivated to take and that are SMART. I don't have the same success rate when someone else develops the action steps and when the action steps are not SMART.

I’m sold on developing my own SMART action steps. And when I work with others, I work to focus them on developing their own SMART action steps.

Question: How often do you focus others on developing SMART action steps?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps. What helps me do this consistently is asking questions like:

Specific: What do you mean by ___?
Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
Attainable: How doable is this?
Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps?

*To learn more about focusing others, click here.

How often do you ask open-ended questions?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2010-01-11T08:27:00+09:00

Reflection is powerful. Reflection helps me identify my goals, better understand my current situation, and consider what I can do to move forward on my goals. I regularly take time to reflect and to encourage others to reflect.

How can you help others reflect? By asking open-ended questions. By asking questions like “What are your priorities?” and “What can you do to pursue God’s calling?”

Question: How often do you ask open-ended questions?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently ask open-ended questions. What has helped me to do this is:

Reading books on open-ended questions, like Bobb Biehl’s Asking to Win.
Developing a set of go-to questions, for example: What’s your goal? What’s going on? What can you do? What will you do?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently ask open-ended questions?

*To learn more about asking questions, click here.

How often do you follow the 80/20 Rule?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-12-12T09:20:10+09:00

Want to empower people? Want to develop leaders? Want to help others become better problem solvers and solve their problems? If so, try this one thing. It’s free. You can do it anywhere. And those you talk with like it.

What is it? It’s the 80/20 Rule. The 80/20 Rule says that in each conversation, you should listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time.

Question: How often do you talk 20% of the time?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently follow the 80/20 Rule. To do this, you’re going to have to keep the other person talking. What I do to keep others talking (so I can listen) is make inviting statements (Tell me more about that.) and ask open-ended questions like “What’s a key challenge you’re facing?”

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently talk a maximum of 20% of the time?

*To learn more about listening, click here.

Empower others to strategically pursue God's calling

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-06-19T07:36:27+09:00

Your client wants to clarify and strategically pursue God’s calling. That’s great!

Question: How can you empower your client to do this?

Answer: By asking 10 questions:

How has God blessed you to pursue His calling?”
What problems and opportunities are you passionate about & blessed by God to address?
What’s your mission?
What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?
What’s already been accomplished?
What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?
What are your options for achieving your goals?
What will you do to achieve your goals?
What will you do this week?
How can you continue to make progress?

Your client will need multiple sessions to reflect on these 10 questions, and your client might benefit from using tools. This set of tools includes a self-assessment and addresses questions 1-7.

How often do you empower others to develop SMART action steps?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-11-14T07:28:00+09:00

We all want to accomplish our goals. To accomplish our goals, we need to take action steps. I’ve found that the SMARTer the action step, the more likely I am to accomplish it. A SMART action steps is:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Timebound

“Get in shape” is not a SMART action step, and it’s actually not that easy to accomplish. “Walk for 30 minutes 3 times per week for 1 month” is a SMART action step, and it’s actually easier to accomplish than “Get in shape.”

Question: How often do you empower others to develop SMART action steps for each of their goals?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to develop SMART actions steps for each of their goals. If the person you’re talking to develops general action steps, help them SMARTen them up by asking questions like:

Specific: What do you mean by ___?
Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
Attainable: How doable is this?
Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to develop SMART action steps for each of their goals?

*To learn more about coaching others on taking action, click here.

How often do you empower others to brainstorm options?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-10-13T08:20:00+09:00

Sometimes I get stuck. I have a problem, and I can’t find a way to solve it. Then, I remember to brainstorm my options, to think outside the box. In short order, I’m unstuck and on my way to solving my problem. Brainstorming works for me. And I’ve found that brainstorming helps others.

Question: How often do you empower others to brainstorm options?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to brainstorm options. To help others brainstorm options, I like to ask “What are your options?” and “What else?”

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to brainstorm options?

*To learn more about coaching on options, click here.

How often do you empower others to explore their current reality?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-09-14T08:16:00+09:00

You want to achieve your goal. And you want to take action now! Ever feel like that? I have. I like the energy, but I don’t necessarily like the results.

Why? Because when I take action without reflecting on my current reality, I forget to take into account things like family plans and my overall workload. What happens? I achieve things I don’t want (like family disharmony and personal fatigue), and I don’t achieve my goal.

Question: How often do you empower others to explore their current reality?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to explore their current reality. What helps me do this is asking open-ended questions:

What’s happening?
How do you feel about this?
How is God using _______ in your life?
What are some other ways to look at this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to explore their reality?

*To learn more about coaching others on the reality of their goals, click here.

How often are you clear on the other person’s goal?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-08-14T08:10:00+09:00

You’re coaching Toru. You have 30 minutes to help Toru achieve his goal. To use this time effectively, make sure you are clear on Toru’s goal. Otherwise, you’ll waste Toru’s time by asking irrelevant questions.

Question: How often are you clear on the other person’s goal?

Consistently?
Usually?
Sometimes?
Rarely?

Make sure you consistently are clear on the other person’s goal. I know that I’m clear on the goal when I restate the goal and the client says, “Yes, that’s what I want to accomplish.” Here’s an example of what I do:

Me: What would you like to accomplish in our session?
Client: I want to find ways to get better at my job.

Me: What do you mean by “get better” at your job?
Client: Well, I’m having trouble with my boss. I’m not getting my projects done on time. I want to find ways to get my projects done before the deadline.

Me: So your goal for our session is to identify ways to get your projects done before the deadline.
Client: Yes, that’s what I want to accomplish.

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently are clear on the other person’s goal?

*To learn more about coaching others on goals, click here.

Ask questions to help those around you

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-06-02T16:50:22+09:00

Ask questions to help those around you to focus, think through problems, and reach their goals. For example:

If your co-worker wants to more effectively disciple others, ask: How do you disciple people now? What’s causing you to want to improve? What’s “more effective discipleship” look like? What can you do?
If your team is planning an event, ask: What do we want to see happen? What will help this go well? Who’s going to do what?
If a pastor is dealing with conflict, ask: What happened? How do you feel? How does the other person see the situation? How can you demonstrate Christ’s love?
If a small group leader wants to help her participants be more engaged, ask: If your participants got more engaged, what might happen? What helps your participants get engaged? When are your participants not engaged? What can you do?

Janet Kunnecke of SEND Japan contributed to writing of this entry.

Ask questions to help others reduce their frustrations

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-05-27T11:01:42+09:00

Want to help others to reduce their frustrations? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

What are 5 frustrations you have?
How do you feel when these frustrations are present/not present?
How would you feel if you could reduce 1 or more of these 5 frustrations?
How would reducing 1 or more frustrations impact your ministry?
If you reduced all 5 frustrations, what might happen?
What helps you reduce your frustrations? What hinders you?
What’s 1 frustration you want to reduce?
What can you do to reduce that frustration?
What will you do?

Ask questions to help others get organized

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-05-27T10:59:16+09:00

Want to help others to get organized? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

What’s your primary workspace like?
What tools do you use to get organized?
How do you feel when you’re organized/disorganized?
For you, what does being organized look like?
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how organized are you?
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how organized do you want to be?
If you were more organized, what might happen?
To get organized, what do you need to keep doing? start doing? stop doing?
What will you do?

Ask questions to help others target their strengths

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-05-27T10:59:03+09:00

Want to help others to target their strengths? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

What strengths has God given you to pursue His calling? (What truths has God taught you? What relationships has He provided? What abilities, character traits, experiences, and education has He given you?)
What excites/frustrates you about your God-given strengths?
How do you feel when you can/can’t use your strengths?
How does targeting your strengths impact ministry?
If you targeted your strengths more, what might happen?
What helps you target your strengths? What hinders you?
What 2-3 strengths do you want to target?
What can you do to target those 2-3 God-given strengths?
What will you do?

Ask questions help others pay attention to their goals

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-05-27T10:56:51+09:00

Want to help others pay attention to their goals? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

What are your goals?
What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
What do you like/dislike about paying attention to your goals?
How does paying attention to your goals help you accomplish them?
If you paid more attention to your goals, what might happen?
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you pay to your goals?
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you want to pay to your goals?
What helps you pay attention on your goals?
What will you do?

Ask questions to help others prioritize

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-04-23T19:35:18+09:00

Want to help others prioritize? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

What are you working on?
What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
What do you want to accomplish in the next month?
Which of these things would you categorize as big priorities? Medium priorities? Small priorities?
What can you do to ensure that the big priorities get accomplished?
What do you think you’ll do?
Would you like to talk again about your priorities?

Reflection can help you pursue your God-given calling

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-04-08T14:31:33+09:00

It's important to pursue your God-given calling. Reflecting can help. Here are 7 questions you can reflect on.

How can you empower others even more effectively?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-07-08T08:18:01+09:00

Through Christian coaching, you can empower others to pursue God’s call. To get an idea of how you can empower others even more effectively, complete the following self-assessment that addresses coaching beliefs, skills, and process (download). Write the number in the blank that comes closest to representing how true a given statement is for you right now. Use the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sometimes • 1: Rarely

The coach’s heart
___ I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___ I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___ I target motivation, not information.
___ I empower others to take responsibility.

LIFE skills: Listen • Inquire • Focus • Encourage
___ I’m interested in what others say.
___ When listening, I look interested.
___ When listening, I sound interested.
___ I target understanding, not judging.
___ I don’t talk more than 20% of the time.

___ I ask open-ended questions.
___ I make inviting statements.
___ I don’t ask “why” questions.
___ I don’t give advice.

___ I focus others on developing their own SMART action steps.
___ I don’t suggest action steps.

___ I encourage others through clarification.
___ I encourage others through affirmation.
___ I encourage others through restatement.
___ I encourage others through “encouragers.”
___ I don’t criticize.

GROW process: Goal • Reality • Options • Will do
___ I’m clear on what the other person wants to accomplish for the session.
___ I don’t suggest goals for the session.

___ I empower others to explore the current reality regarding their goals.
___ I don’t describe others’ reality.

___ I empower others to brainstorm options for taking action on their goals.
___ I don’t suggest options.

___ I empower others to develop 2-3 SMART action steps per goal.
___ I don’t advise others on what actions to take.

Ask questions to help others get clear

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-01-24T11:42:18+09:00

Want to help others know where they are and where they want to go? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

What’s your mission?
To carry out your mission, what goals do you need to achieve?
Where are you in terms of progress on each of your goals?
What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
What helps you achieve your goals?
What hinders you?
How can you build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks?
What will you do to make progress on your goals?

Ask questions to help others focus

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-01-23T15:41:30+09:00

Want to help others focus on the right things? Ask questions. Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

What’s going on in your ministry?
What people/projects are you spending your time/energy on?
What are your goals for this next week/month?
Whom do you talk to about your ministry?
What’s been satisfying/frustrating?
What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction and frustration?
How can you build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks?
What do you think you’ll do?

Ask 1 person 1 question today

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-01-22T08:40:10+09:00

What’s God calling you do to?
What’s your goal?
What’s going on?
How does God see this?
How is God using this in your life?
How can you achieve your God-given mission?
What will you do?

What is coaching?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-12-29T08:58:25+09:00

Considering getting coaching? If so, be sure you know what coaching is.

Question: What is coaching?

To get an answer to this question, do 3 things:

(1) Clarify what coaching is and is not:

It’s your coach drawing from you, not you drawing from an expert. So, it’s not mentoring.
It’s focusing on improving the present, not focusing on healing the past. So, it’s not counseling.
It’s you being in charge, not someone else being in charge.
It’s you identifying your goals, not someone else identifying your goals.
It’s you setting the agenda of your coaching sessions, not someone else setting the agenda.
It’s a focused conversation with the purpose of you taking action, not a conversation with the purpose of you getting listened to.

(2) Experience a coaching session. You can do this by watching a 5-minute video of me getting coached. A coaching session usually takes 30-60 minutes and includes identifying a goal for the coaching session, exploring the current reality of the goal, brainstorming options for addressing the goal, and determining action steps. In this video, you’ll see me identify my goal and then begin exploring the current reality of my goal.

As you saw in the video, my coach asked questions (instead of giving advice).

(3) Familiarize yourself with 1 or more definitions of coaching:

Coaching is a relationship in which you receive the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to achieve the mission God has given you.
Coaching is the ministry of strategic encouragement (Romans 12:8).

Question: What would you say if someone asked you, “What is coaching?”

What could you work on with a coach?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-12-29T09:56:19+09:00

Thinking about getting coaching? If so, you might be wondering what you could work on with a coach.

A coach will come along side you and empower you to:

Live your values
Build relationships
Communicate effectively
Balance home and work
Think big
Think outside the box
Think clearly
Get focused and stay focused
Get organized
Get resources
Get support, encouragement, and accountability
Get and give feedback
Lead organizational change
Lead by asking questions
Develop systems, processes, and policies
Define goals
Use calendar software to map out how to get your goals done
Use purpose, collaboration, and data to achieve your goals
Manage email
Facilitate effective meetings

Question: What are 3 things you could work on with a coach?

What's already been accomplished?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-12-12T08:13:26+09:00

Three weeks ago, Tim was appointed as field director for his mission. Sitting across the table from you, he says, “Being a mission field director is challenging. I feel good about my new role. I’ve been asking God how He wants me to use the gifts He’s given me, and He answered—I’m now the field director.

“I feel like I can do a pretty good job of supporting people in our mission. But being responsible for carrying out our strategic plan feels a little overwhelming.

“Last year, we revised our mission statement. Then, we developed 6 strategic goals. These goals tell us what we need to do to carry out our mission statement. We have some pretty aggressive goals, and I’m not sure how we’re going to get them all done.”

Question: What can you ask Tim?

Answer: What’s already been accomplished?

In other words, get Tim to reflect on each of the 6 goals from the strategic plan. Getting Tim to reflect on the current achievement of each goal is vital. Why? Because reflecting on each goal gives Tim the opportunity to:

Celebrate progress.
Understand what still needs to be accomplished.
Recognize what no longer needs to be addressed.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

Getting 300% more training impact

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-11-08T07:02:00+09:00

Dr. Keith E. Webb

Let's be honest, most training is full of knowledge, ideas, and "good stuff" but not much practice.

Paul wrote, "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you" Philippians 4:9.

Too often, my problem is not a lack of knowledge; it is too little living out of that knowledge. Chinese philosopher Han Fei Tzu said it well: “It is not difficult to know a thing; what is difficult is to know how to use what you know.”

This is where Follow-Up Coaching comes in.

Follow-Up Coaching
Follow-Up coaching comes at the end of content-based training. Coaches use a series of (usually prepared) questions to move the client forward in implementing the training content over the weeks or months following the event.

For example, Focusing Leaders is a process designed by Terry Walling to help mid-career leaders to understand their calling and giftedness. There are group meetings every month with coaching appointments between the meetings. During the coaching appointment the coach will ask a series of set questions in line with the previous group meeting's subject. In this way, the group meeting content gets coached into the lives of the participants.

It's a powerful combination.

In fact, one organization studied the impact of only training vs. training with follow-up coaching. Training produced 23% better performance, but training with follow-up coaching produced 88% better performance. That's a significant difference!

Getting Follow-Up Coaching Going
One feature of organizations that are characterized as having a "coaching culture" is that all their training is followed by coaching. Doing this is actually easier than it may sound.

List up the application points of your training. How do you want participants to behave and think differently? Focusing on behavior makes things easier.
Take a look at the content of your training and edit it to focus on the behaviors you want to participants to adopt. Cut the extra "good" things, and focus.
Create time during the training so participants can plan their implementation. Have participants share that with somebody else.
Write up a set coaching questions to be asked to participants during the next couple of weeks or months. With these questions in hand, just about anybody can do the follow-up coaching.
Provide follow-up coaching at least 4 times over the next 3 months, beginning a week after the training. Coaches can meet with 1, 2, or 3 participants at a time. (More than that doesn't work as well.) We've also formed participants into groups of 3 and given them the follow-up coaching questions and allowed them to "peer coach" each other. Obviously, the more skilled your coaches are the better the outcome, but half the power is in the questions and the fact that the topic is brought up again 4 more times following the training.

I've implemented Follow-Up Coaching with the shorter training events I lead and have seen fabulous results. How about giving it a try? And let me know how it goes.

Copyright © 2008 Keith E. Webb & CRM
Dr. Keith E. Webb is a trainer and experienced cross-cultural leadership coach helping non-profit organizations, teams, and individuals multiply their cross-cultural impact. Find free articles at http://www.CreativeResultsManagement.com

Coach from your heart

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-11-07T10:52:10+09:00

Through coaching, you can empower others to grow. While effective coaching does involve technique, at a deeper level effective coaching is about your heart, about your beliefs, about who you are. Coach from your heart.

GROW process helps church

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-10-23T08:32:24+09:00

Imagine that you are a church planter in Japan. Imagine that you want your church members to think about a current challenge. What can you do? You can use the GROW process:

Goal: What’s our goal?
Reality: What’s going on?
Options: What can we do?
Will do’s: What will we do?

When doing coaching workshops for CAJ staff and for missionaries, I teach the GROW process. I was really encouraged by the following email from a church planter who used the GROW process:

“I thought you would be interested in what our church did yesterday after worship. We are trying to sell our land and move to an area of Fujisawa that has no church to plant a church there. The denomination hasn’t given their blessing yet on the sale of the land, so we needed to think through things we could do until we get their blessing for selling the land and moving forward.

“I led a discussion for about 10 church members using GROW to think through ideas and options. It was fun to do, and interesting to do it in Japanese! The GROW concept worked, and helped to structure a very helpful discussion. I heard the following comments from people:

‘This was the first time that I could really say what was on my heart.’
‘This gives me hope that there are things that we can be doing and not be stuck in a rut.’
‘It was helpful to get things out on the white board to help get my thinking sorted out.’

“Thought you would want to know that your coach training helped a Japanese church to process things.”

Want to achieve your goals?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-09-29T14:00:21+09:00

The point is not to have goals. The point is to achieve goals. To achieve your goals, take 4 steps: pray, put, take, and reflect.

Ask yourself 4 questions

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-09-29T08:07:04+09:00

(1) Want to celebrate progress?
(2) Feel like reflecting on a current challenge?
(3) Going crazy due to a job change?
(4) Or need to talk through something unexpected?

If so, get a coach!

To empower others, provoke reflection

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-09-27T15:01:33+09:00

Want to empower others? Provoke them to reflect. How? By asking open-ended questions.

SMARTen up your goals

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-09-26T14:48:15+09:00

You’re pursuing God’s calling. Good. Three weeks ago, you developed a list 5 goals that are part of pursuing God’s calling:

Pray more.
Make spouse happy.
Answer email immediately.
Coach students.
Provide training for Christian schools.

Now, you’re seated at your desk, reflecting on your goals. Good. You notice that you haven’t made any progress. You’re puzzled. You want to work on your goals—so motivation is not the issue. Yes, you have been busy the past 3 weeks, but you did have time to work on your goals—so time is not the issue. You just feel like it’s hard to get started. You look at your goals, and you find it hard to get traction.

Question: What can you do?

Answer: Make each of your goals SMART. What do I mean by SMART?

A SMART goal is:

Specific: A specific goal identifies a concrete task. Instead of having the general goal of praying more, use the specific goal of praying 15 minutes each weekday morning.
Measurable: Progress on a measurable goal can be readily tracked. Instead of having a general goal of making your spouse happy, use a measurable goal like going out for monthly dates with your spouse.
Attainable: An attainable goal is a challenging goal that you can accomplish. Instead of setting an unattainable goal like answering all your email immediately, set an attainable goal of answering all email within 48 hours.
Relevant: A relevant goal is one that is aligned with your values and mission. If you value empowering others and your mission is to empower leaders of Christian organizations, focus on coaching leaders of Christian organizations, not students.
Time-bound: A time-bound goal is one that has a realistic deadline. Instead of having an open-ended goal of providing training for Christian schools, use the measurable, time-bound goal of providing 5 workshops by April 30.

Situation: You have 30 minutes to work on a goal. Which goal is easier to get started on?

Goal A: Write an article.
Goal B: By the 22nd of this month, write a 500-word article for Christian school teachers on SMART goals.

Answer: I picked Goal B. I think you did, too. Why didn’t I pick Goal A? Because I needed answers to the following questions before I could get started: What’s the topic? Who’s the audience? How many words? When’s it due?

I didn’t pick Goal A because it wasn’t SMART.

Question: Does making goals SMART really help?

Answer: Yes. Here’s what staff at Christian Academy in Japan have to say:

Kim Essenburg (English 10): SMART goals help me focus. For example, last year our English Department had a goal of meeting every other month to discuss teaching reading strategies—because we wanted to help our students improve their reading skills. Having a goal that specified the purpose and frequency of our meetings helped us get started and stay with it.
Jennifer Robinson (curriculum coordinator): We use the SMART-goal format when presenting our school improvement goals. We do this because we want to provide our staff with clear expectations—including by when we want to accomplish our goals.
Stephen Willson (facilities manager): The SMARTer the goals are, the easier it to understand and complete the task. For example, when someone brings a broken desk to our shop and doesn’t specify where the desk should be returned to, it’s harder to achieve the goal of having the fixed desk returned to the right room.

Bottom line: Making your goals SMART helps you clarify what you want to achieve and, consequently, helps you get started more quickly.

SMARTen up your goals. Today.

Achieve your goals

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-07-15T17:38:39+09:00

Goals help. Goals help you get focused, get energized, get organized, and know what to say “yes” and “no” to.

But having goals is not enough. You don’t just want to have goals—you want to achieve goals. You want to achieve your goals in order to pursue your God-given calling. Is there something you can to do increase the likelihood that you’ll achieve your goals? Yes!

These four steps can help:

Pray. Ask God to guide you as you select goals and to provide the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to achieve your goals.
Put your goals on paper. Write them down. The act of writing your goals down will deepen your commitment to them. And if you write your goals down, you can easily review them.
Take one or more action steps on each goal every week. And make sure each action step is SMART (Specific • Measurable • Attainable • Relevant • Timebound). The SMARTer your action step, the more likely you’ll complete it. For example, imagine your goal is managing your email. Instead of identifying your action step as “only working on email at certain times,” identify your action step as “doing email for 30 minutes two times per day (11:30-12:00, 4:00-4:30), starting Wednesday.”
Reflect on your progress with a friend each week. Tell your friend the progress you’ve made on each action step and what your action steps are for the coming week.

Use sets of questions

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-08-21T10:48:36+09:00

Want to promote reflection in your organization? Design sets of questions and have partners use them as they dialog. Here are 3 sets of questions I designed and then had our mission's EurAsia Team use:

Personal life

When you were in 4th grade, where did you live? What did you enjoy doing?
What’s easy/challenging about living in your country of service?
In your recent personal life, what’s been encouraging/discouraging?
Overall, how are you feeling?
How can I pray for you?

Ministry overview

What people/projects are you investing your energy in?
Whom do you talk to about your ministry? What do you talk about?
In terms of ministry, what’s been satisfying/frustrating?
What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction/frustration?
You talked about ___ today. What do you think you’ll do?

Ministry goals

What are your ministry goals?
What progress on your goals have you experienced? What’s been satisfying?
What roadblocks have you experienced? What’s been frustrating?
How can you leverage your progress and minimize your roadblocks?
You talked about ___ today. What do you think you’ll do?

How can you continue to make progress?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-05-14T08:21:10+09:00

“This coaching series has been life changing,” says Trudi, a secretary at an international Christian school in Singapore. It’s her final coaching session. She adds, “I’ve gotten a better understanding of God’s calling for me. My personal mission statement gives me something to focus on. And the 5 goals I’ve developed for carrying out my mission help me take action on my mission. I want to keep at it.”

Question: What can you ask Trudi?

Answer: How can you continue to make progress?”

Get Trudi to create an environment that empowers her to consistently take action on her goals. To help Trudi create an empowering environment, ask her questions like:

What helps/hinders you in focusing on your goals?
What helps/hinders you in designing action steps each week?
What helps/hinders you in accomplishing your action steps?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

What will you do this week?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-04-09T08:31:44+09:00

“One of my overall goals is to provide resources for church members that help them pursue God’s calling,” says Bill, a pastor of a 250-member congregation in London.

It’s Bill’s first coaching session, and for the next 30 minutes, you ask Bill questions to provoke him to reflect:

Who are your church members?
What is God calling them to?
How do you see resources helping them?
What kinds of resources would help them?
What helps/hinders church members in using resources?

Says Bill, “This has been helpful. Your questions helped me think about the resources I want to provide. Thanks.”

You think, “He sounds like he thinks we’re done, and he hasn’t developed his action steps.”

Question: What can you ask Bill?

Answer: What will you do this week?

In other words, get Bill to develop 2 or more SMART action plans he will take to provide resources for church members. To empower Bill to develop SMART action steps, first ask him questions about his options:

What could you do to provide church members with resources?
What else could you do?

Then ask Bill questions about SMART action steps he will take this week to provide church members with resources:

What will you do this week?
What 2 or more action steps will you take?
What do you mean by ___?
How will you know when you’ve achieved this action step?
How doable is this?
How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
By when will you do this?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

What will you do to achieve your goals?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-03-11T08:38:36+09:00

“This coaching series has helped me clarify God’s calling,” says Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia. “I like my personal mission statement: Empowering Christians to pursue God’s calling.

“And the 6 goals I’ve identified help me know what I need to do to carry out my mission. I especially like my goal for coaching: Providing support, encouragement, and accountability for Christian leaders. Right now, I’m coaching 5 leaders.

“Last session, I brainstormed things I could do to accomplish each of my goals. I like my list, but it’s general—for example, for my goal on coaching, I listed “write blogs,” but I didn’t list how many. And I can’t do everything I listed. So, I want to get more specific and make the list doable.”

Question: What can you ask Tomoko?

Answer: What will you do to achieve your goals?

In other words, get Tomoko to identify 2-4 sub-goals she will accomplish in the next 12 months. For example, imagine Tomoko saying, “Let’s start with my goal on coaching.”

You could say, “OK. Imagine that it’s 12 months from now. You feel good about coaching leaders. What have you accomplished in the past 12 months?”

Then Tomoko would brainstorm, you would continue to ask questions, and Tomoko might decide that she will coach 20 leaders, write a monthly coaching blog, and do three 1-day coaching workshops so Christian leaders can learn how to coach others. Then, Tomoko would move on to her next goal—consulting.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

What are your options for achieving your goals?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-02-13T07:37:08+09:00

You’re coaching Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia who wants to clarify God’s calling. She’s made good progress. She’s developed a mission statement, identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish in order to carry out her mission, and reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her goals. During her last coaching session, she reflected on what helps and hinders her in achieving her goals.

She says, “I completed my action steps. I listed 3 things that help me and 3 things that hinder me in accomplishing each of my 6 goals. Then, I talked over my list with my friend Jeannie. She gave some useful input, and I used it to revise my list. I’m more aware of each of my goals. I think I’m ready to take action on each of my goals.”

Question: What can you ask Tomoko?

Answer: What are your options for achieving your goals?

Get Tomoko to identify 5 or more options for each of her 6 goals. For example, 1 of Tomoko’s goals is using coaching to develop leaders. To empower Tomoko to generate options regarding this goal, ask her questions like:

What can you do?
What are your options?
Could you give me 5 options?
What do you need to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing?
What else could you do?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2009-01-31T08:34:39+09:00

Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia, has been working for several weeks to clarify God’s calling. In previous coaching sessions, she’s:

Identified 4 problems and 3 opportunities she’s passionate about & blessed by God to address.
Developed a mission statement.
Identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish to carry out her mission.
Reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her 6 goals.

“I’m feeling good about the progress I’ve been making,” says Tomoko. “These coaching sessions have been helpful—thanks! I’m clearer on how I should be investing my energy. I’d like to move forward on my goals, you know, develop effective action steps.”

Question: What can you ask Tomoko?

Answer: What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?

For example, 1 of Tomoko’s goals is to provide leaders with resources. To empower Tomoko to reflect on what helps/hinders her in providing resources, ask her questions like:

What personal strengths help you?
What opportunities does addressing this goal provide?
What resources are available?
What personal weaknesses get in your way?
What are your roadblocks?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

What's already been accomplished?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-02-12T08:33:03+09:00

Celebrate progress.
Understand what still needs to be accomplished.
Recognize what no longer needs to be addressed.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

What's it take to carry out your God-given mission?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-11-18T12:31:26+09:00

You’re coaching Mark, a math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. He wants to clarify God’s calling. In previous sessions, he identified the problems/opportunities he’s passionate about and blessed by God to address. He also drafted a personal mission statement: Equipping Christians to live for Jesus.

Says Mark, “I feel pretty good about my mission statement. It reflects who I am and the problems/opportunities I want to address. It’s already helped my focus. But as a statement, it’s fairly broad. I want to make it more specific, more concrete. That way I’ll be able to take action on my mission."

Question: What can you ask Mark?

Answer: “What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?”

In other words, “What 5-10 areas do you need to be involved in to carry out your mission and, consequently, to address the problems and opportunities you identified?” (As necessary, give examples of area. *See list below.)

Once Mark has identified 5-10 areas, ask “What’s your goal for each area?” Here’s a sample: Coaching—Provide the support, encouragement, and accountability Christian leaders need to pursue God’s calling.

As Mark develops a goal for each area, he’ll be answering “What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?” As Mark develops a goal for each area, he’ll be making his mission more specific, concrete, and actionable.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

*Sample areas:
Environment
Finances
Health/fitness
Leadership
Life balance
Personal growth
Recreation
Relationships
Spiritual/church
Work

What’s your mission?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-11-06T08:29:13+09:00

“What I want to do is to develop a personal mission statement,” says Mark, a high school math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. “I’m fairly clear on the problems/opportunities God is calling me to address. Having a mission statement will help me focus on these problems/opportunities.”

Question: What can you ask Mark?

Answer: Ask these 5 questions:

What 5 or more verbs reflect God’s calling for you? (As necessary, give examples. *See list below.)
What will you say when asked, “What’s your mission?”
What word best describes your God-given mission?
What 2-3 words describe your God-given mission?
What 1 sentence do you want said about you at your funeral?

Once Mark has reflected on these 5 questions, ask “What’s your God-given mission?” Give Mark time to think—he may need paper and pen to put down his thoughts. Once Mark has a draft, ask questions to help him refine his mission statement:

How does this mission statement address the problems and opportunities you identified?
How does this mission statement help you understand God’s calling?
What do you mean by ____?
How easy is this for you to say?
How does this mission statement help you focus?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

*Sample verb list:
Advance
Build
Collaborate
Disciple
Educate
Empower
Encourage
Equip
Evangelize
Heal
Improve
Innovate
Lead
Mobilize
Network
Nurture
Organize
Plant
Raise
Serve
Transform
Unite

What problems/opportunities are you passionate about & blessed by God to address?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-09-30T08:25:41+09:00

You’re listening to Carla, a 43-year-old office worker. She’s experiencing significant change, including a new home, a new pastor at church, and her youngest child starting high school. Carla tells you that as a result of the changes she’s experiencing, she’s more sensitive to her own needs and the needs of others.

Says Carla, “There are a lot of problems and opportunities around me. I can’t address all of them, but I can address some of them. I want to pursue my calling, so I want to think about which problems and opportunities are part of my calling.”

Question: What can you ask Carla?

Answer: I believe that God gives us passions for certain problems/opportunities and that He blesses us to address certain problems/opportunities. So ask Carla, “What problems and opportunities are you passionate about?”

As necessary, give examples to clarify what you mean by problems and opportunities:

Sample problems: poverty, discouragement, racism, drugs, poor education, unemployment, underperformance, few Christians, Christians not growing/being discipled, church life not vibrant, lack of leaders, lack of innovation, lack of collaboration, people working without necessary tools and systems, lack of training, dysfunctional relationships
Sample opportunities: develop leaders, help youth develop a Christian worldview, focus staff energy, support and encourage others, build networks, increase staff effectiveness through consulting and training, model innovation, increase mission achievement through consulting and building systems

Once Carla has brainstormed the problems/opportunities she’s passionate about, ask her, “Which of these has God blessed you to address?” Help Carla focus on identifying 5-15 problems/opportunities she’s passionate about and blessed by God to address.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

How has God blessed you pursue His calling?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-08-28T08:56:37+09:00

You’re coaching Bob. He shares that he’s turning 47, his oldest child is now a freshman in college, his best friend recently moved to the United Kingdom, and he’s thinking about changing careers. As Bob talks about what’s he’s experiencing, it becomes clear that Bob wants to clarify God’s calling in his life. He wants to develop a personal mission statement and to design goals to achieve that mission statement.

Question: What can you ask Bob to help him get started?

Answer: Start by asking Bob a question that will provoke him to reflect on his current situation. Start by asking Bob, “How has God blessed you to pursue His calling?” To help Bob reflect on this question, ask:

How’s God working in your life?
What Relationships has God blessed you with?
What Abilities has God blessed you with?
What Character qualities has God blessed you with?
What Experiences has God blessed you with?

In other words, ask Bob, “What GRACE has God given you to pursue His calling?”

Benefit: As Bob reflects on how God has blessed him, he’ll think about how God has been with him each day. And he’ll inventory God’s blessings—and that will prepare him to clarify God’s calling.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

Use questions to help your client clarify God’s calling

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-08-08T01:57:46+09:00

Your client wants clarify God’s calling. Asking questions will help.

Here are 10 questions you can ask:

How has God blessed you to pursue His calling?”
What problems and opportunities are you passionate about & blessed by God to address?
What’s your mission?
What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?
What’s already been accomplished?
What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?
What are your options for achieving your goals?
What will you do to achieve your goals?
What will you do this week?
How can you continue to make progress?

People grow as they take responsibility

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-06-10T13:12:16+09:00

People grow as they take responsibility by defining, committing to, and achieving goals. I know I grow when I take responsibility. I’ll bet you do, too.

As a coach, you can empower others to take responsibility. To empower others:

Listen to them. Listen in order to help them talk through what their goals are. Help them take responsibility by listening, instead of talking.
Inquire about their goals. Help them take responsibility by asking questions, instead of suggesting goals.
Focus them on their goals. Help them take responsibility by asking them to define their goals and take SMART action.
Encourage them to achieve their goals. Help them take responsibility by having them talk about progress on their goals.

Growing is more about motivation than information

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-05-21T12:52:32+09:00

Leaders grow as they take action to achieve their goals. Taking action is more about being motivated than about having information. If I’m not motivated, I won’t take action—even if I have good information.

Here’s how this plays out in my life: To achieve my goal of getting regular exercise, I do something I’m motivated to do—walk for 15-30 minutes several times a week. I have information about other exercise plans—lifting weights and jogging on a treadmill. But having this information doesn’t result in me getting exercise because I not motivated to lift weights or jog on a treadmill.

The point: Since leaders grow as they take action, growing is more about motivation than information.

Application? When coaching, target motivation by:

Listening to others. Really listen. When people feel listened to, they share. And as they share, they clarify their motivations.
Inquiring: What’s your goal? What’s your motivation? What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
Focusing others on their passions and empower them to turn their passions into defined goals.
Encouraging others to talk about their interests and dreams. As they talk, say things like, “Tell me more.”

Remember: It’s motivation, not information.

How to write a SMART goal

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-05-02T15:47:32+09:00

Asking questions doesn't always work

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-05-02T15:45:05+09:00

Coaching is a conversation, in which the coach provokes the client to reflect by asking questions. But asking questions doesn't always work, as the video demonstrates.

To cultivate a coaching culture, use a set of questions

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-04-12T12:58:07+09:00

What's a good way to cultivate a coaching culture? Having staff members ask each other a prescribed set of questions. Doing this results in staff members coaching and receiving coaching—without being trained in coaching.

Here's a sample set of questions for a coaching session:

What’s going on in your work?

What people/projects are you spending your time/energy on?

What are your goals for this next week/month?

Whom do you talk to about your work? What do you talk about?

What progress on your goals have you experienced? What’s been satisfying?

What roadblocks have you experienced? What’s been frustrating?

What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction and frustration?

What can you do to build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks? Who can help you?

You talked about ___ today. What do you think you’ll do?

How can I pray for you?

Believe in others

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-04-09T10:01:50+09:00

Pursuing my calling is both exciting and frustrating. My calling simultaneously feels like a significant way to help others and a massive, unsolvable problem. How about you? How do you feel about your calling?

I want to pursue my calling, and I find that when someone believes in me, I feel encouraged, energized, and blessed.

People who believe in me do 4 things:

They listen, instead of talking.

They inquire, instead of advising.

They focus on drawing out, instead of putting in.

They encourage, instead of critiquing.

Encourage God’s people to pursue their calling. Believe in someone. Today.

As a Christian coach, you're free

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-03-13T08:34:52+09:00

Because God is at work in each of His people (Romans 8:28-29), you’re free. Because God is at work, you’re free not to give suggestions or advice to God’s people.

Because God is at work, you’re free:

To listen for what God wants you to ask His people and to focus them on listening to the Holy Spirit.

To inquire about how God is working in others’ lives and what the Holy Spirit is saying to them.

To focus God’s people on what the Holy Spirit wants them to do.

To encourage others to consider their goals in light of God’s Word and leading.

Remember: As a Christian coach, you’re free!

To encourage and empower others, listen

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-02-25T07:57:49+09:00

I like being listened to. When someone really listens to me, I feel heard, understood, and affirmed—and consequently, encouraged and empowered to pursue God’s calling. How about you? How do you feel when someone really listens to you?

I think you’re like me—you like to be listened to. And as missionaries, we both understand that in ministry, listening to others is vital. When we listen to others, they feel understood, encouraged, and empowered. When we listen, relationships deepen. But listening is hard; talking seems easier. So, we sometimes are quick to speak and slow to listen, something James challenges us not to be.

How can you listen more effectively? Read the 3 guidelines for listening given below. For each guideline, ask yourself, “How am I doing?” Then, identify and commit to taking one concrete step to improve your listening.

Guideline #1: Be, look, and sound interested. In other words, find the person interesting and use culturally appropriate posture, facial expressions, and tone of voice.

Guideline #2: Target understanding the person, not judging what’s being said. Listen deeply. Listen to what’s on her heart.

Guideline #3: Use the 80/20 Rule. Listen 80% of the time; talk 20% of the time. To keep the person talking so you can listen, ask open-ended questions. Ask questions like: What is God calling you to be? If you accomplished your goal, what would it look like? How do you feel? What can you do?

Take action to be a better listener. Use listening to encourage and empower others.

To achieve your goals, get a coach

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-02-05T08:30:38+09:00

If you want to achieve your goals, get a coach. Your coach will listen, ask questions, and provide the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to achieve your goals.

4 questions to ask church planters

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-01-31T16:07:08+09:00

Church planters work hard and need support, encouragement, and accountability. They also need someone to provoke them to reflect.

You can help by asking church planters questions like...

What's a church?
What are the practical implications of Christians being a priesthood of believers?
Within a church, what's the role of the missionary? the laity?
What's success?

How can you encourage others?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-01-16T08:28:59+09:00

Everyone needs encouragement. You. Me. Everyone.

How can you encourage others? Here’s a starter list:

Listen. Really listen. When someone really listens to me, I feel heard. Feeling heard is encouraging.
Ask questions. When people ask me questions, they demonstrate respect for what I think. That’s encouraging.
Focus on others. When someone focuses on me, I feel energized and encouraged. It’s as if there is an energy flow from the person to me.
Believe in others. When others think positively about me and help me find my own solutions (instead of suggesting or advising), I feel great.
Celebrate progress. In the press of things, I lose perspective and forget the progress I’ve made. When someone reminds of the progress I’ve made, I feel encouraged.
Affirm character. When someone affirms me in terms of my character, in terms of who I am, I feel good.
Share from your heart. When others share from their heart, for example, by telling their story, I feel freed to tell my story. Telling my story encourages me because I get to share from my heart.
Use “encouragers.” When people say, “Yes…I see...Tell me more…” I feel encouraged to continue sharing.

Encourage someone. Today.

Need to focus? Get coaching!

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2008-01-04T07:48:12+09:00

I like daily conversation. It flows freely, covers a range of topics, is not too focused, and is relaxing. How about you?

But when I want to achieve a goal, I need a focused conversation. I need a conversation focuses me on:

Talking about a goal, instead of a topic.
Talking only about my goal, instead of talking about a range of topics.
Brainstorming options for taking action on my goal, instead of shooting the breeze.
Developing SMART actions I’ll take to achieve my goal, instead of tossing around ideas.

Coaching conversations help me do these 4 things. In a coaching conversation:

A coach asks, “What’s your goal?” He listens to my response and asks additional questions to help me clarify my goal, to bring it into focus.
A coach asks, “What’s going on?” to help focus on the current status of my goal. And if I start to get off topic, he helps me get back on track.
A coach asks, “What are your options?” He encourages me to brainstorm 5 or more options. As a result of focusing on developing a range of options, I can see more clearly how I can move forward on my goal.
A coach asks, “What 2-3 SMART actions will you take?” This helps me focus on achieving my goal. After all, to achieve a goal, I have to do something.

To what extent would a coaching conversation help you focus on achieving your goal?

Provoke reflection

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-12-04T06:59:25+09:00

Want to empower others? Provoke them. Provoke them to reflect.

How does reflection empower? Here are responses from members of Connect2Empower, a professional development network for missionaries in Tokyo:

Reflection gets me thinking.
It’s easy for life to just roll along, for us not to effectively use our energy. Reflection helps us make decisions about how to use our energy effectively.
Reflection reinforces learning. It helps me think at a deeper level.
Reflection helps me see more clearly. It helps me identify the issues I’m facing.
Reflection helps us see an issue from a variety of perspectives.

How can you provoke reflection? Ask open-ended questions, instead of giving suggestions or advice.

Ask open-ended questions like:

What’s your goal?
What’s going on?
What are your options?
What will you do?

Ask open-ended questions like:

What is God calling you to be?
What dreams do you want to make real?
What’s your ideal?
If you could accomplish 1 thing this year/month/week, what would it be?
How is God using this in your life?
How is this problem an opportunity?
What changes would honor God?
How can you address this situation?
What can you do or be in order to close the gap?

Remember:

Ask open-ended questions to provoke reflection.
Ask, don’t tell.
Ask, don’t suggest.
Ask, don’t advise.
Ask—then listen. (Effective inquiry means the person talks at least 80% of the time.)

Provoke someone to reflect. Today.

To turn a dream into reality, take action

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-11-01T08:15:24+09:00

What do you want to do? Things I want to do include:

Living in a cottage in the Lake District.
Coaching Christian leaders via cell phone while hiking around Grasmere.
Creating and facilitating effective communities of practice for Christian leaders, while looking out over the ocean at Takayama.
Running 10 miles in the Yorkshire Dales without breathing hard.
Getting regularly published in print and online.
Consulting for Christian organizations worldwide via videoconferencing, while drinking coffee in a café in Windsor.
Going for long walks along a deserted beach with my wife.
Working with others to develop an online teacher training program regarding helping students apply a Biblical perspective to what they study, while looking out over Lake Nojiri.
Celebrating my daughters’ birthday parties in person for as long as I live.
Creating a podcast for iTunes that empowers Christian leaders to close the gap, while staying in a farmhouse in Kilmihil.

I want to do lots of things. And I enjoy dreaming about doing them. But I know that my “want to’s” will only be enjoyable dreams until I will them into reality. Until I change “want to” into “will do.” Until I take action.

Bottom line: To turn dreams into reality, you must take action.

Will a dream into reality. Today.

Brainstorm your options, then commit to action

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-09-20T18:45:57+09:00

You have identified your goal. You’ve thought about what’s currently going on regarding the goal. Now you want to take action to achieve your goal. Good.

Before identifying and committing to the specific actions you’ll take, brainstorm your options. Brainstorming options can help you:

Identify effective options. For example, if you want to balance your checkbook, you could do it by hand, in a spreadsheet, and in Quicken. You could do it daily, weekly, or monthly. Which option(s) would be most effective for you?
Identify appealing options. For example, if you want to run, you could run on a treadmill, around a track, along the road, and in a park. You could run by yourself, with someone, and with a running club. Which option(s) do you find most appealing?

When brainstorming, do 4 things:

Reflect: What can you do? What else could you do?
Think: Think inside the box. Think outside the box. Think of multiple options.
Remember: There’s usually a better way. You can find it.
Get in a good context: I do my best brainstorming when I’m working with someone—like a coach. What’s a good context for you?

After you have brainstormed options for taking action to achieve your goal, review your options and then commit to the actions you’ll take.

To clarify something, use "it's this, not this"

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-08-29T10:00:05+09:00

Want to clarify something? Make a list of what is is and what it's not. Here's an example what coaching is and is not:

Goals, not topics
Specific reality, not general reality
Options, not option
Will do, not want to do
Listening, not talking
Inquiring, not advising
Focusing, not suggesting
Encouraging, not critiquing

Coaching is GROWLIFE.

Be aware! Beware! Then, take action

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-08-30T12:19:52+09:00

You have established a key goal, one that will make a difference at work and at home. You’re committed to your goal, and you want to take action.

Two tips:

(1) Be aware of the current reality of your goal. One way to do this is to look at your goal from different perspectives, for example:

God: How does the God see this? What is God calling you to do?
Family: How does your family see this? How will this affect your family?
Employment: How does your supervisor feel about this? How does this fit with your organization’s goals and mission?
Impact: What short-term impact will this have? What long-term impact will this have?
Friends: How do your friends see this? What advice would your friends give?
Resources: What resources do you need to achieve this goal? What resources are available?

(2) Beware of blind spots. Beware of blind spots = becoming aware of blind spots = fewer blind spots = a greater likelihood of taking effective action steps to achieve your goal. How can you beware of blind spots?

Talk with 3 friends about your goal and your current reality.

Next, ask them for help on identifying blind spots. With increased awareness of your current reality and of your blind spots, you can make better decisions about how to take action on your goal.

Be Aware! Beware! Then, take action.

Up for a challenge?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-08-14T14:42:44+09:00

You are? Good. Try going for 1 hour without asking or thinking a single question. That’s right, not one question. How do you think you’d do?

I don’t think I’d do very well. Why? Because I love asking questions. If I can’t ask questions (or even think questions), I’d get frustrated. Questions are too big a part of my life and ministry. I like asking, “What’s God calling you to be? What dreams do you want to make real? What can you do to close the gap?”

Well, how about this challenge? Deeply understand every question you hear. This is the challenge I’m working on. It’s hard.

Everywhere I go, people are asking questions. For example, when listening to students I hear, “When’s this due? Do we have to?” When training teachers I hear, “Why are we working on this? I’ve got so much going already—how am I going to add this?” When coaching Christian leaders I hear, “How do I handle email? I just got blasted—now what?”

Listen deeply to a question and you might hear someone’s heart. Listen deeply and you might hear their deeper longings:

When a student asks, “Do we have to?” he might be saying “I want to serve Jesus—how will learning this help?”
When a teacher asks, “Why are we working on this?” she might be asking “How can this training help me better equip students to impact the world for Christ?”
When a leader says, “I just got blasted—now what?” she might be asking “How can I be humble and promote Christian unity?”

Asking and understanding questions is part of living for Jesus. Asking and understanding questions is a vital part our efforts to equip CAJ students and to empower Christian leaders to close the gap.

Who can you bless by asking a good question? How can you hear someone’s heart today? And remember, God, too, asks questions. What question is God asking you?

Add LIFE to the GROW process

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-07-09T08:56:32+09:00

You want to empower others. You want to empower others to focus on their goals, work smart, and pursue their callings. And you have decided to use the GROW process, a 4-step process that moves a person from goal to action:

Goal: Get the person to state 1 or more attainable goals for the session.
Reality: Get the person to explore the current reality regarding the goal(s).
Options: Get the person to brainstorm options for taking action on the goal(s).
Will do: Get the person to develop 2-3 SMART action steps s/he will do for each goal.

Problem: You don’t know how to get the 4 steps accomplished. You don’t know how to make the GROW process come alive.

Solution: Add LIFE to the GROW process. How? By using LIFE skills at each step of the GROW process. What are the 4 LIFE skills?

Listening
Inquiring
Focusing
Encouraging

Here’s how you can add LIFE to the GROW process to get each of the 4 steps done!

(1) Goal: To get the person to state 1 or more attainable session goals, add LIFE.

Listen. Establish that you want the person to talk about 1 or more goals and that you want to understand the goals (not judge them).
Inquire by asking questions like, “What’s your goal?” and “What would you like to accomplish in our X-minute session?”
Focus the person on developing SMART goals. How? By asking questions: What do you mean by ___? How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal? By when do you want to accomplish your goal?
Encourage the person by restating his goals. This lets him know you are listening and that you are working to understand him and his goals.

(2) Reality: To get the person to explore the current reality regarding the goal(s), add LIFE.

Listen. Really listen. Use the 80/20 Rule, meaning listen a minimum of 80% of the time and talk a maximum of 20% of the time.

Inquire by asking questions like, “What’s going on?” and by making inviting statements like “Tell me more about…”

Focus the person on the current reality regarding the goal so that later she can develop effective action steps. Ask questions like, “How is God using _______ in your life?”

Encourage the person through clarification. Let her know you are listening and that you want to understand by asking clarifying questions like, “Can you give an example?” and “What do you mean when you say…?” (3) Options: To get the person to brainstorm options for taking action on the goal(s), add LIFE.

Listen. Look interested and sound interested. Generating options is hard work, and you can energize the person by listening.
Inquire by asking questions like, “What can you do?” and “What are your options?”
Focus the person on brainstorming action steps s/he would consider doing to achieve the goal(s).
Encourage the person to keep brainstorming by saying “I understand…” and “Tell me more…”

(4) Will do: To get the person to develop 2-3 SMART action steps s/he will do for each goal, add LIFE.

Listen. Be interested, giving your full attention. The “Will do” section is the culmination of the GROW process. Giving your full attention will empower the person to develop effective action steps.
Inquire by asking questions like, “Is that an action you want to take?” and “On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to that action step?”
Focus the person on developing SMART action steps s/he will do. How? By asking questions: What do you mean by ___? How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step? How doable is this? How will this action step help you achieve your goal? When will you do this?
Encourage the person by acknowledging when s/he has developed a SMART action plan. Say, “You’ve developed 1 SMART action plan. Good.”

Make the GROW process come alive. How? By adding LIFE. Then use GROWLIFE to empower someone. Today.

Defining goals is pivotal

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-06-13T13:48:07+09:00

I believe 3 things about you and about me:

We want our lives to count for God, so we want to effectively use our limited resources.
We want to grow, and we grow as we take responsibility to define our goals.
When we define our goals, we clarify how we want to make our lives count for God and, consequently, how we can more effectively use our limited resources.

Bottom line: Defining our goals is pivotal. We both know this. We know this because we know how well we function when we operate with defined goals instead of with ambiguous goals or with no goals at all.

Key question: If defining goals is pivotal, why doesn’t everyone consistently define their goals? Because there are obstacles that block people from defining their goals. Here are 3 that may be blocking you from defining your goals:

An already busy schedule, and defining goals takes time
Not knowing how to define goals effectively
Previously defining goals, but not getting better results

Let’s assume these 3 obstacles are blocking you from defining your goals. Now, imagine having overcome these 3 obstacles. Imagine:

(1) Imagine spending 15 minutes each week defining and/or refining your goals.

(2) Imagine having answered questions like:

What 3 changes would honor God?
What 3 things is God calling you to be?
What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
What 3 things does it take to achieve your mission?

(3) Imagine having listed 1 or more goals for each of the following 10 categories:

Relationships
Environment
Spiritual/church
Leadership
Work
Finances
Health/fitness
Life balance
Recreation
Other

(4) Imagine having SMARTened up your goals. Meaning, you’ve made your goals:

Specific: What do you mean by ___?
Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal?
Attainable: How doable is this?
Relevant: How will this goal help you live for God or achieve your God-given mission?
Timebound: When will you do this?

(5) Imagine working with a coach for 30 minutes each week. A coach who believes in you. A coach who listens to you and asks you questions. A coach who encourages you, empowers you take responsibility to define your goals, and provides you with the support and accountability you need to achieve your goals.

Imagine these 5 things happening, resulting in you having defined goals. If these 5 things happened, resulting in you having defined goals, how would that help you live for God and use your limited resources effectively?

You can make each of these 5 things happen, and you can define your goals. You. Not me. Not your friend. You. So, what are you going to do? What are you going to do to define your goals? And what are you going to do to empower someone to define his/her goals?

Get a coach, be a coach, or both. Today.

When you coach, empower people to define their goals for each session.

At the start of each coaching session, get your client to verbalize 1 or more attainable session goals.
Ask questions like “What’s your goal for today?” and “What would you like to accomplish in our X-minute session?”
To help your client SMARTen up his/her goals, use clarifying questions (What do you mean by…?) and restatement (So, your goal for today is…).

Ask questions to provoke reflection

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-05-22T11:58:06+09:00

Asking questions is an effective way to provoke reflection. Here are 10 questions you can ask:

What 3 changes would honor God?
What 3 things is God calling you to be?
What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
What 3 things can you do or be in order to close the gap?
What 3 indicators best measure your progress?
What’s your ideal?
What do you mean by...?
How do you know...?
How does the Bible help?
What are 3 options?

Establish a coaching culture

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-04-24T12:52:08+09:00

What’s the goal of a coaching culture?
Empowering staff to close the rhetoric/reality gap by using coaching to lead, manage, influence, collaborate, and communicate.

What will you see in a coaching culture?
In addition to staff participating in formal coaching, you will see:

More listening, less talking
More inquiring, less advising
More focusing others on taking SMART actions, less letting others pursue undefined actions
More encouraging, less criticizing
More empowering others to solve their problems, less solving others’ problems

What benefits does a coaching culture provide for you?

More collaboration, less conflict
More results, less activity
More staff being supported, encouraged, and held accountable to achieve goals; less staff just being assigned goals
More focus on the mission, less focus on other good things
More smart work, less hard work
More pursuit of defined excellence, less pursuit of undefined excellence

What problems can a coaching culture help you address?

Low morale
Miscommunication
Fear of change
Underperformance
Staff attrition

What factors encourage a coaching culture to start growing?
Leaders and managers supporting a coaching culture by:

Getting formal coaching
Getting basic coach training
Coaching staff members
Using coaching throughout each day
Talking about how coaching has helped them and the organization

Staff:

Getting trained on how to benefit from coaching
Getting formal coaching

To begin establishing a coaching culture, take this self-assessment.

20 ways a coach can empower you

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2006-06-20T13:06:41+09:00

Do you believe in the mission God has called you to? If so, then I believe that you aspire to a great task and that you are willing to do the hard work it takes to accomplish that mission. A coach can help you.

A coach will come along side you and empower you to:

Live your values
Think big
Think outside the box
Think clearly
Improve job performance
Eliminate frustrations
Get focused and stay focused
Get organized
Get resources
Get support, encouragement, and accountability
Define the achievement of your mission in measurable terms
Measure your current level of mission achievement
Define goals and specific steps necessary to close the gap between your targeted and current levels of mission achievement
Use calendar software to map out how to get your goals done
Use purpose, collaboration, and data to achieve your goals
Develop scoreboards that measure your progress and increase motivation to achieve your goals
Achieve your mission
Develop systems, processes, and policies
Lead effective meetings
Increase your students’ understanding and application of a biblical perspective of course content

What are some other ways a coach can empower you?

Interested in getting a coach? If so, answer the following 4 questions:

What are 3 key ways you want to be empowered?
How could coaching help you get empowered?
What can you do to get a coach?
What will you do to get a coach?

Interested in coaching others? If so, answer the following 4 questions:

What’s your goal for coaching others?
What are 20 ways you can empower your clients?
What can you do to start coaching?
What will you do to start coaching?

Get a coach, be a coach, or both. Today.

Be a servant leader

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2006-08-10T12:15:34+09:00

How? By asking your colleagues good questions. For example, ask:

In 1 sentence, what’s your goal?
If you could accomplish 1 thing this year/month/week, what would it be?
How is this problem an opportunity?
How can you address this situation?
What 3 changes would honor God?
What 3 things is God calling you to be?
What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
What 3 things can you do or be in order to close the gap?
What 3 indicators best measure your progress?
What’s your ideal?

Take action:

Ask yourself, “How can I use questions to serve others? To lead others?” Write down 5 or more answers.
Next, ask someone a question. For example, “How can we help students understand and use a biblical perspective?”
Develop a habit of asking questions. Ask someone a question each day for the next 10 days.

Use questions to serve. Don’t use self-serving questions. Use questions to lead. Don’t use leading questions.

In coaching, who does what?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2006-11-16T12:10:05+09:00

Good question. Particularly since coaching is different from counseling and mentoring.

In counseling you focus on healing the past; in coaching you focus on improving the present.
In mentoring, you draw from your mentor; in coaching your coach draws from you.

So, who does what in coaching?

Both the client and the coach:

Pray.
Attend each coaching session.
Come prepared to each coaching session.
Focus on the client achieving the client’s goals during the coaching session.

The client:

Takes care of logistics (makes the phone call, arranges a meeting place).
Defines, commits to, and achieves goals.
Shares what s/he is thinking, feeling, and experiencing.
Lets the coach know if something isn’t working.

The coach:

Provides support, encouragement, and accountability.
Uses effective coaching models like GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, Will do).
Uses effective coaching skills, including listening and inquiry.
Maintains confidentiality.

Now that you know who does what in coaching, what are you going to do?

If you are interested in getting a coach, what can and will you do to get a coach?
If you are interested in coaching someone, what can and will you do to start coaching?

Get a coach, be a coach, or both. Today.

To achieve your goal, get a coach

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2006-12-08T11:43:01+09:00

You want to achieve your goal. But it’s just not happening. So many things are going on that you’re having trouble focusing on your goal. You think that if you could get some help, you could get to work on your goal. And with regular doses of support, encouragement, and accountability, you could even achieve your goal.

You don’t need counseling or mentoring. What do you need? Someone to listen to you, ask you good questions, and focus you on your goal. If someone would do this, you could:

Get organized.
Finish that key project.
Manage your e-mail more effectively.
Reduce your busyness by saying “no” to some requests.
Spend time reflecting on what God is calling you to do.

To achieve your goal, get a coach. Coaching is a relationship in which you receive the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to achieve the goals God has given you. Coaching is different from counseling and mentoring:

In counseling you focus on healing the past; in coaching you focus on improving the present.
In mentoring, you draw from your mentor; in coaching your coach draws from you.

Does coaching work? Yes!

Martie Tarter (director of choral music): “Coaching has helped me focus on the most important of the many things that I do.”
John Houlette (mission field director): “Coaching helped me realize that I am not alone in ministry—that someone cares about me and is willing to ask me questions and hold me accountable.”
Ruth Spalink (Student Support Team coordinator): “Coaching helped me lead meetings more effectively.”
Stephen Willson (facilities manager): “Coaching helped me to manage my calendar better.”
Scott Ponzani (communication coordinator): “Coaching has helped me define my goals (like getting a publication done) and keep focused on them.”

To achieve your goal, get a coach. Today.

Use coaching to empower others

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2006-12-14T11:31:16+09:00

You want to help a colleague achieve her goal. You need a process and a list of key skills. You need GROW LIFE.

GROW is a time-tested, user-friendly process you can use to help your colleague achieve her goal. Your role in using the process is to ask questions, move your colleague through the process, and get your colleague to commit to taking 1-2 doable action steps.

So, what does GROW stand for and what should you ask?

Goal: What’s your goal?
Reality: What’s going on?
Options: What can you do?
Will do: What will you do?

Take 2 minutes (yes, a full 120 seconds) and memorize what GROW stands for and 1-4 of the questions you should ask. (Did you take a full 120 seconds?) Now, please recite out loud the GROW process and 1-4 of the questions. Thanks. Please keep reading.

In addition to a process (GROW), you need a list of skills. You need LIFE:

Listening
Inquiring
Focusing
EncouragingWhat’s involved in each of these 4 skills?
- Listen fully to your colleague, not to the thoughts in your head. Listen to really understand. And listen at least 80% of the time. Remember, “listen” respelled is “silent.”
- Inquire through questions and inviting statements. If you listen a minimum of 80% of the time, you have a maximum of 20% of the time for asking questions (“What’s your goal?”) and for making inviting statements like, “Please talk more about that.” Don’t use the 20% for telling your story or giving advice.
- Focus your colleague on achieving her goal through SMART action steps. Move your colleague through the GROW process so that she ends the conversation with 1-2 action steps that she is committed to taking. Don’t let your colleague wander.
- Encourage your colleague. How? By paraphrasing, clarifying, and acknowledging progress.
Take action:
1. Memorize what GROW LIFE stands for. Recite out loud what GROW LIFE stands for.
2. Explain GROW LIFE to a colleague. Print out and use this article as necessary.
3. Use GROW LIFE to help your colleague achieve her goal.
Be a coach. GROW LIFE. Today.

As a Christian coach, what do you believe?

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-01-10T11:22:00+09:00

Coaches are not counselors or mentors. Consequently, coaches operate on different beliefs than counselors and mentors.

What are my coaching beliefs? I have 4:

God is growing his people, and the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer. God is already at work in the lives of each of his people. While God may use me to help a person grow, it’s God who is actually growing each of his people. So as a coach, I encourage each person to listen to God.
People want to grow and are empowered to grow by those who believe in them. You and I both want to grow. And people who believe in us empower us to grow—I know this. I’ve experienced it my own life. You have, too. When people believe in me, I can do more. As a coach, I believe in people. So, I listen (instead of talking), ask questions (instead of advising), encourage (instead of criticizing), and empower people to define their goals (instead of giving them goals).
Growing is more about motivation than information. We all know good things that would help us grow. We know we should do these good things—but we don’t. Simply put, knowing doesn’t equal doing. As a coach, I empower people to focus on good things they want to work on.
People grow as they take responsibility by defining, committing to, and achieving goals. So as a coach, I don’t take the responsibility for defining goals; instead, I empower people to define their goals. I don’t take the responsibility for committing to goals; instead, I empower people to commit to their goals. I don’t take the responsibility for achieving the goals; instead, I empower people to achieve their goals. Make sense?

Now that you know what I believe about coaching, what are you going to do? Here are 2 suggestions:

If you are interested in getting a coach, ask your potential coach what s/he believes about coaching.
If you are interested in coaching someone, define 4-6 coaching beliefs and be prepared to share them.

Get a coach, be a coach, or both. Today.

Use the GROW process to empower people

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-02-01T11:15:46+09:00

People you know want to grow. Your family members want to grow. Your work colleagues want to grow. Your fellow church members want to grow.

You can empower them to grow by using the GROW process. What’s the GROW process? A time-tested, 4-step process you can use that stands for:

Goal
Reality
Options
Will do

God is growing his people. And he uses GROW.

God asks us, “What’s your Goal? Whom do you want to live for?” Remember when God uses Joshua to ask the Israelites to choose whom they will serve?
Through his Word, God gets us to reflect on our current Reality, to reflect on the extent to which we serve Him and the extent we serve ourselves.
God gets us to consider our goal and our gifts to find Options for taking action.
Because he loves us and wants the best for us, God asks, “What steps Will you take to serve me and only me?”

Yes, God uses GROW, as do people who believe in others, people who empower others to grow.

People that believe in others ask, “What’s your Goal?” and “What’s God calling you to be and do?” They don’t tell others what their goals should be.

People that believe in others ask, “What’s your current Reality?” They don’t tell others what their reality is like.

People that believe in others ask, “What are your Options for taking action on your goal?” They don’t tell others what their options are.

People that believe in others ask, “What actions Will you take?” They don’t tell others what actions to take. GROW targets motivation. And since growing is more about motivation than information, you can you use GROW to empower others to grow.

To target motivation, get others to state the Goals they want to work on.
To target motivation, get others to reflect on the current Reality they’re working to address through their goals.
To target motivation, get others to brainstorm appealing Options for taking action on their goals.
To target motivation, get others to identify 2-3 actions they Will take to achieve their goals.

In addition to targeting motivation, GROW empowers people to take responsibility. Since people grow as they take responsibility by defining, committing to, and achieving their goals, you can use GROW to help people to grow.

To empower people, get them to define their Goals and to make their goals SMART. Help them take responsibility by getting them to clarify and then state the goals they are motivated to work on.
To empower people, get them to explore the current Reality regarding their goal(s). Help them take responsibility by asking questions like “What’s going on?” and “How is God using ___ in your life?”
To empower people, get them to brainstorm Options for taking action on their goals. Help them take responsibility by asking questions like “What can you do?” and “What are your options?”
To empower people, get them to develop 2-3 SMART action steps they Will do. Help them take responsibility by asking questions like “What will you do?”

Use the GROW process to demonstrate you believe in others, to target motivation, and to empower others to take responsibility. Use the GROW process today.

GROWLIFE coaching workshop a success

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-03-08T11:11:57+09:00

On March 2, 20 CAJ staff and missionaries attended Close the Gap’s GROWLIFE coach training. Participants learned about, experienced, and used the GROW process (Goal, Reality, Options, Will do) and LIFE skills (Listening, Inquiring, Focusing, Encouraging).

Said one participant, “It was helpful for me to see the role coaching can play in a pastor’s ministry.”

Another added, “I can already take home and apply some skills.”

Lead by asking

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-03-19T11:05:37+09:00

Ask questions to help your colleagues focus, think through problems, and reach their goals. For example:

If your colleague wants to increase student understanding and application of a biblical perspective, ask: How can questions help? What questions do you want your students to ask? What questions do you want your students to respond to?
If your curriculum committee is brainstorming ways to improve the curriculum, ask: Where are we? Where do we want to go? How can we get there?
If your administration wants to achieve its mission, ask: What’s our mission? What’s our definition of mission achievement? What’s our current level of mission achievement? How can we close the gap between current and targeted levels of mission achievement?
If your school is reviewing its philosophy of education, ask: What happens at a Christ-centered school? What is the role of biblical perspective in Christian education? How can we help students internalize a biblical perspective?

Use LIFE to empower people to grow

learnmore@closethegapnow.org — 2007-04-10T10:38:35+09:00

People want to grow. You want to grow. People you know want to grow. And you can empower them to grow by using LIFE.

What’s LIFE? A set of 4 skills:

Listening
Inquiring
Focusing
Encouraging

God is growing his people. And he uses LIFE:

God Listens to our prayers.
God Inquires of us through questions that he asks, that others ask, and that are raised in his Word.
God Focuses us on growth areas during trials.
God Encourages us through his Word, his people, and his blessings.

Yes, God uses LIFE, as do people who believe in others, people who empower others to grow:

People that believe in others Listen instead of talking.
People that believe in others Inquire instead of advising.
People that believe in others Focus others on defining their own goals, instead of suggesting goals.
People that believe in others Encourage instead of criticizing.

LIFE targets motivation. And since growing is more about motivation than information, you can you use LIFE to empower others to grow.

To target motivation, Listen to others. Really listen. When people feel listened to, they share. And as they share, they clarify their motivations.
To target motivation, Inquire of others. Ask questions: What’s your goal? What’s your motivation? What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
To target motivation, Focus others on their passions and empower them to turn their passions into defined goals.
To target motivation, Encourage others to talk about their interests and dreams. As they talk, say things like, “Tell me more.”

In addition to targeting motivation, LIFE empowers people to take responsibility. Since people grow as they take responsibility by defining, committing to, and achieving their goals, you can use LIFE to help people to grow.

To empower people, Listen to them. Listen in order to help them talk through what their goals are. Help them take responsibility by listening, instead of talking.
To empower people, Inquire about their goals. Help them take responsibility by asking questions, instead of suggesting goals.
To empower people, Focus them on their goals. Help them take responsibility by asking them to define SMART goals and SMART action steps.
To empower people, Encourage them to achieve their goals. Help them take responsibility by having them talk about progress on their goals.

Use LIFE to demonstrate you believe in others, to target motivation, and to empower others to take responsibility. Use LIFE today. God is.