Imagine you’re sitting at a coffee shop. Across the table from you is a Christian leader you want to help grow. As you sip your coffee, you both share about your families and ministries. You notice that he seems a little anxious, so you ask, “How’s it going? Really?” He pauses, looks at you, and says that he’s discouraged and wondering if he should continue his ministry.

And now you start to feel a little anxious. Questions race through your mind: What should I say? How should I say it? What advice should I give? How can I help?

My advice? Remember three things. First, remember that God is growing His people, and the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer. God is already at work in the life of this leader. To help him grow, God saved him, gave him key relationships, blessed him with abilities and character qualities, and provided him with education and useful ministry experiences.

Second, remember that while God may use you to help this leader grow, it’s God who is actually growing this leader. God can do it!

And third, remember that because God is at work in this leader (Romans 8:28-29), you’re free. You’re free not to give suggestions or advice to him. And you’re free to invite him to listen to the Holy Spirit, to inquire about how God is working in his life and what the Holy Spirit is saying to him, to focus him on what the Holy Spirit wants him to do, and to encourage him to consider his goals in light of God’s Word and leading.

So, how should you respond to this leader who is discouraged about his ministry and wondering if he should continue? How about asking questions? You could ask: How’s your relationship with God? What’s the Holy Spirit been saying to you? What might God be teaching you? How might God be using this to help you grow?

Remember, God is growing His people, and the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer.

Reflect on the Holy Spirit’s work:

1. How is God growing you? How is the Holy Spirit working in your heart?
2. How do you feel about the Holy Spirit working in the lives of leaders you work with?
3. What happens when Christian leaders focus on what the Holy Spirit is saying to them?
4. To help Christian leaders focus on what the Holy Spirit is saying to them, what do you need to keep doing? start doing? stop doing?
5. How will you demonstrate that you believe the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer?

You and I both want to grow. We want to grow so we can pursue God’s calling even more. So, we target growth areas like leadership, spiritual disciplines, conflict management, life balance, and Japanese language proficiency.

You and I both know that people who believe in us empower us to grow. I’ve experienced it in my own life. You have, too. When people believe in me, I can do more. I remember talking with my regional director about a workshop. He invited me to lead workshop sessions about focusing on the mission’s purpose and on asking open-ended questions. I felt hesitant. So, I asked some questions. He responded, “Do what you want. I trust you. You’ll know what to do.” I was energized to develop and deliver quality workshops.

I’ve also experienced that believing in others empowers them to grow. For example, I was working with a missionary who was serving in a new ministry, one that really stretched him. I was listening as he reflected on the past 9 months. And then he said, “One of the biggest things you did for me was believe in me. You thought I could do it. That gave me confidence to accomplish new things.”

As a result of these and other experiences, I’ve become increasingly convinced that believing in others helps them grow. I now work to interact with others in ways that show I believe in them. For example, I target helping others become better problem solvers (instead of targeting solving their problems). I also strive to listen (instead of talking), ask questions (instead of advising), focus on drawing out (instead of on putting in), and encourage (instead of critiquing)—remember, Barnabas encouraged Paul.

Empower God’s people to pursue their calling. Believe in someone. Today.
 
Reflect on believing in others:

1. Who is someone who believed in you? What was the impact of being believed in?
2. Who is someone who didn’t believe in you? How did he/she communicate this?
3. What excites/concerns you about believing in others?
4. How does believing in others empower them to pursue God’s calling?
5. How could you show that you believe in others?
6. How will you show that you believe in others?

By asking questions like:

• What’s excellence?
• What’s satisfying/unsatisfying about pursuing organizational excellence?
• For your ministry, what does organizational excellence look like?
• What can you do to pursue organizational excellence?
• What will you do?

By asking questions like:

1. What’s your ministry?
2. How do you feel about your ministry and your workload?
3. How interested are you in getting more done in the same amount of time?
4. What helps you work efficiently and effectively? What doesn’t help you?
5. What can you do to work smarter?
6. What will you do?

Do you want to empower others? Do you want to empower others to focus, solve problems, and achieve their goals? If so, provoke them. Provoke them to reflect. 
 
Reflection is powerful. Personally speaking, reflection helps me clarify my ministry goals, increase awareness of my progress, identify things that are hindering my progress, and develop action steps. In short, reflection helps me do ministry. 
 
I’ve seen reflection help fellow staff members at Christian Academy in Japan (CAJ). After reflecting, staff members were more focused on their goals, managed their time better, and led meetings more effectively.
 
But don’t take my word for it. I asked CAJ staff members to tell me how reflection empowers them. Here’s what they said: “Reflection helps me get clear on what’s going on so I can make effective decisions.” “Reflection helps me organize my tasks and next actions.” “Reflection helps me handle situations more effectively.”
 
So, how can you provoke reflection? By asking open-ended questions:

• If your co-worker wants to more effectively disciple others, ask: How do you disciple people now? What’s causing you to want to improve? What’s “more effective discipleship” look like? What can you do?
• If your team is planning an event, ask: What do we want to see happen? What will help this go well? Who’s going to do what?
• If a pastor is dealing with conflict, ask: What happened? How do you feel? How does the other person see the situation? How can you demonstrate Christ’s love?
• If a small group leader wants to help her members to be more engaged, ask: If your members got more engaged, what might happen? What helps your members get engaged? When are your participants not engaged? What can you do?

Bottom line: Empower other by asking questions.

*Want to empower others to ask questions? Then ask them questions like:

1. What problems are those around you facing?
2. What goals are they trying to achieve?
3. What excites/concerns you about empowering others by asking questions?
4. To what extent do you ask questions to help others focus? Prioritize? Solve problems?
5. How could you more effectively use questions to empower others?
6. What will you do?

I’m watching missionaries, who are sitting in pairs, deeply engaged in conversation. These missionaries are asking each other key questions: What people/projects are you investing your energy in? What’s been satisfying/frustrating? What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction/frustration? How can I pray for you?
 
I’m thinking, “This is going pretty well. They’re more engaged than if I did the traditional style of devotions. They’re provoking each other to reflect. And they look like they’re having a good time. Having them use a set of questions worked.”
 
Want to provoke reflection throughout your mission? Have people in your mission use a set of questions to talk together.
 
For example, when you are starting a mission gathering and need an icebreaker, have participants ask each other a set of questions:  When you were in 5th grade, where did you live? What did you enjoy doing? What’s easy/challenging about living in this country? In your recent personal life, what’s been encouraging/discouraging? Overall, how are you feeling? How can I pray for you?
 
When you’re leading a team meeting and want team members to reflect on ministry goals, have team members ask each other a set of questions: What are your ministry goals? What progress on your goals have you experienced? What roadblocks have you experienced? How can you leverage your progress and minimize your roadblocks? You talked about _____ today—what do you think you’ll do?
 
When you’re leading a workshop on getting more organized, have participants ask each other a set of questions: What tools do you use to get organized? How do you feel when you’re organized/disorganized? For you, what does being organized look like? To get organized, what do you need to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing? What will you do?
 
Use the following set of questions to reflect on this article:

1. What is 1 thing from this article that interested you?
2. What excites/concerns you about provoking reflection throughout your mission?
3. How could using a set of questions help you provoke reflection?
4. When could you use a set of questions to provoke reflection?
5. What will you do?

By asking questions like:

1. What’s your mission statement?
2. What excites/concerns you about the mission?
3. How does your work help achieve the mission?
4. What helps you achieve the mission? What gets in your way?
5. On a scale of 1-5 (5 being high), how focused are you on your mission statement?
6. What can you do to increase your focus?
7. What will you do?

Want to encourage coaching in your organization? One way I encourage coaching is by developing sets of questions to be used in meetings and workshops. As a result of using sets of questions in meetings and workshops, staff have shifted toward asking questions and away from giving advice.

In the planning sessions I'm facilitating today, participants are using the following sets of questions to help others reflect:

Set 1

1. What’s your mission?
2. What’s it take to carry out your mission?
3. What’s already been accomplished?
4. What helps you?
5. What hinders you?
6. What are your options?
7. What will you do to achieve your goals?

Set 2

1. What is your mission? What are your goals?
2. How would you categorize progress on your goals? Why?
3. To what extent do your current action steps help you address your goals?

Set 3

1. What topics did you talk about in your tactical meeting?
2. What action steps are you going to take before your next meeting?
3. What did you learn by trying out different roles?
4. What will help your team work together better?

Ask questions to help those around you to focus, think through problems, and reach their goals. For example:

• If your co-worker wants to more effectively disciple others, ask: How do you disciple people now? What’s causing you to want to improve? What’s “more effective discipleship” look like? What can you do?
• If your team is planning an event, ask: What do we want to see happen? What will help this go well? Who’s going to do what?
• If a pastor is dealing with conflict, ask: What happened? How do you feel? How does the other person see the situation? How can you demonstrate Christ’s love?
• If a small group leader wants to help her participants be more engaged, ask: If your participants got more engaged, what might happen? What helps your participants get engaged? When are your participants not engaged? What can you do?

Janet Kunnecke of SEND Japan contributed to writing of this entry.

Want to help others to reduce their frustrations? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are 5 frustrations you have?
2. How do you feel when these frustrations are present/not present?
3. How would you feel if you could reduce 1 or more of these 5 frustrations?
4. How would reducing 1 or more frustrations impact your ministry?
5. If you reduced all 5 frustrations, what might happen?
6. What helps you reduce your frustrations? What hinders you?
7. What’s 1 frustration you want to reduce?
8. What can you do to reduce that frustration?
9. What will you do?

Want to help others to get organized? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What’s your primary workspace like?
2. What tools do you use to get organized?
3. How do you feel when you’re organized/disorganized?
4. For you, what does being organized look like?
5. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how organized are you?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how organized do you want to be?
7. If you were more organized, what might happen?
8. To get organized, what do you need to keep doing? start doing? stop doing?
9. What will you do?

Want to help others to target their strengths? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What strengths has God given you to pursue His calling? (What truths has God taught you? What relationships has He provided? What abilities, character traits, experiences, and education has He given you?)
2. What excites/frustrates you about your God-given strengths?
3. How do you feel when you can/can’t use your strengths?
4. How does targeting your strengths impact ministry?
5. If you targeted your strengths more, what might happen?
6. What helps you target your strengths? What hinders you?
7. What 2-3 strengths do you want to target?
8. What can you do to target those 2-3 God-given strengths?
9. What will you do?

Want to help others pay attention to their goals? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are your goals?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you like/dislike about paying attention to your goals?
4. How does paying attention to your goals help you accomplish them?
5. If you paid more attention to your goals, what might happen?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you pay to your goals?
7. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you want to pay to your goals?
8. What helps you pay attention on your goals?
9. What will you do?

Want to help others prioritize? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are you working on?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you want to accomplish in the next month?
4. Which of these things would you categorize as big priorities? Medium priorities? Small priorities?
5. What can you do to ensure that the big priorities get accomplished?
6. What do you think you’ll do?
7. Would you like to talk again about your priorities?

Want to help others know where they are and where they want to go? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What’s your mission?
2. To carry out your mission, what goals do you need to achieve?
3. Where are you in terms of progress on each of your goals?
4. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
5. What helps you achieve your goals?
6. What hinders you?
7. How can you build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks?
8. What will you do to make progress on your goals?

Want to help others focus on the right things? Ask questions. Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What’s going on in your ministry?
2. What people/projects are you spending your time/energy on?
3. What are your goals for this next week/month?
4. Whom do you talk to about your ministry?
5. What’s been satisfying/frustrating?
6. What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction and frustration?
7. How can you build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks?
8. What do you think you’ll do?

Want to promote reflection in your organization? Design sets of questions and have partners use them as they dialog. Here are 3 sets of questions I designed and then had our mission's EurAsia Team use:
 
Personal life

1. When you were in 4th grade, where did you live? What did you enjoy doing?
2. What’s easy/challenging about living in your country of service?
3. In your recent personal life, what’s been encouraging/discouraging?
4. Overall, how are you feeling?
5. How can I pray for you?

Ministry overview

1. What people/projects are you investing your energy in?
2. Whom do you talk to about your ministry? What do you talk about?
3. In terms of ministry, what’s been satisfying/frustrating?
4. What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction/frustration?
5. You talked about ___ today. What do you think you’ll do?

 Ministry goals

1. What are your ministry goals?
2. What progress on your goals have you experienced? What’s been satisfying?
3. What roadblocks have you experienced? What’s been frustrating?
4. How can you leverage your progress and minimize your roadblocks?
5. You talked about ___ today. What do you think you’ll do?

Your client wants clarify God’s calling. Asking questions will help.
 
Here are 10 questions you can ask:

1. How has God blessed you to pursue His calling?”
2. What problems and opportunities are you passionate about & blessed by God to address?
3. What’s your mission?
4. What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?
5. What’s already been accomplished?
6. What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?
7. What are your options for achieving your goals?
8. What will you do to achieve your goals?
9. What will you do this week?
10. How can you continue to make progress?

What's a good way to cultivate a coaching culture? Having staff members ask each other a prescribed set of questions. Doing this results in staff members coaching and receiving coaching—without being trained in coaching.

Here's a sample set of questions for a coaching session:

1. What’s going on in your work?
   
2. What people/projects are you spending your time/energy on?
   
3. What are your goals for this next week/month?
   
4. Whom do you talk to about your work? What do you talk about?
   
5. What progress on your goals have you experienced? What’s been satisfying?
   
6. What roadblocks have you experienced? What’s been frustrating?
   
7. What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction and frustration?
   
8. What can you do to build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks? Who can help you?
   
9. You talked about ___ today. What do you think you’ll do?
   
10. How can I pray for you?

You have established a key goal, one that will make a difference at work and at home. You’re committed to your goal, and you want to take action.

Two tips:

(1) Be aware of the current reality of your goal. One way to do this is to look at your goal from different perspectives, for example:

• God: How does the God see this? What is God calling you to do?
  
• Family: How does your family see this? How will this affect your family?
  
• Employment: How does your supervisor feel about this? How does this fit with your organization’s goals and mission?
  
• Impact: What short-term impact will this have? What long-term impact will this have?
  
• Friends: How do your friends see this? What advice would your friends give?
  
• Resources: What resources do you need to achieve this goal? What resources are available?

(2) Beware of blind spots. Beware of blind spots = becoming aware of blind spots = fewer blind spots = a greater likelihood of taking effective action steps to achieve your goal. How can you beware of blind spots?

• Talk with 3 friends about your goal and your current reality.
  
• Next, ask them for help on identifying blind spots.

With increased awareness of your current reality and of your blind spots, you can make better decisions about how to take action on your goal.

Be Aware! Beware! Then, take action.