Christian coaching flows from the heart, from beliefs about empowering others. 

To get an idea of how you can more effectively lead by asking questions, complete the following self-assessment (or download it here). Rate each item, using the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sort of • 1: Rarely


Lead from your heart
___ I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___ I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___ I target motivation, not information.
___ I empower others to take responsibility.
___ I believe that reflection is powerful.
___ I want to help staff be better problem solvers (not to solve their problems).
 
Inquiry skills
___ I ask open-ended questions.
___ I don’t ask “why” questions.
___ I don’t give advice.
___ I easily think of good questions to ask.

Lead by asking questions
___ I ask questions to help others.
 
___ I ask questions to help others reflect.
___ I ask questions to help others get clear.
___ I ask questions to help others prioritize.
___ I ask questions to help others get organized.
 
___ I ask questions to help others focus.
___ I ask questions to help others target their strengths.
___ I ask questions to help others pay attention to their goals.
___ I ask questions to help others reduce their frustrations.
 
___ I lead by asking questions.


Now, ask yourself 5 questions about the data:

1. How many 4s, 3s, 2s, and 1s do I have?
2. What’s encouraging/discouraging about the data?
3. What helps me lead by asking questions?
4. What hinders me from leading by asking questions?
5. What will I do?

Empower others. Lead by asking questions. Today.

Leaders grow as they take action to achieve their goals. Taking action is more about being motivated than about having information. If I’m not motivated, I won’t take action—even if I have good information.
 
Here’s how this plays out in my life: To achieve my goal of getting regular exercise, I do something I’m motivated to do—walk for 15-30 minutes several times a week. I have information about other exercise plans—lifting weights and jogging on a treadmill. But having this information doesn’t result in me getting exercise because I not motivated to lift weights or jog on a treadmill.
 
The point: Since leaders grow as they take action, growing is more about motivation than information.
 
Application? When coaching, target motivation by:

1. Listening to others. Really listen. When people feel listened to, they share. And as they share, they clarify their motivations.
2. Inquiring: What’s your goal? What’s your motivation? What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
3. Focusing others on their passions and empower them to turn their passions into defined goals.
4. Encouraging others to talk about their interests and dreams. As they talk, say things like, “Tell me more.”

 
Remember: It’s motivation, not information.

Coaches are not counselors or mentors. Consequently, coaches operate on different beliefs than counselors and mentors.

What are my coaching beliefs? I have 4:

1. God is growing his people, and the Holy Spirit is at work in each believer. God is already at work in the lives of each of his people. While God may use me to help a person grow, it’s God who is actually growing each of his people. So as a coach, I encourage each person to listen to God.
   
2. People want to grow and are empowered to grow by those who believe in them. You and I both want to grow. And people who believe in us empower us to grow—I know this. I’ve experienced it my own life. You have, too. When people believe in me, I can do more. As a coach, I believe in people. So, I listen (instead of talking), ask questions (instead of advising), encourage (instead of criticizing), and empower people to define their goals (instead of giving them goals).
   
3. Growing is more about motivation than information. We all know good things that would help us grow. We know we should do these good things—but we don’t. Simply put, knowing doesn’t equal doing. As a coach, I empower people to focus on good things they want to work on.
   
4. People grow as they take responsibility by defining, committing to, and achieving goals. So as a coach, I don’t take the responsibility for defining goals; instead, I empower people to define their goals. I don’t take the responsibility for committing to goals; instead, I empower people to commit to their goals. I don’t take the responsibility for achieving the goals; instead, I empower people to achieve their goals. Make sense?

Now that you know what I believe about coaching, what are you going to do? Here are 2 suggestions:

1. If you are interested in getting a coach, ask your potential coach what s/he believes about coaching.
   
2. If you are interested in coaching someone, define 4-6 coaching beliefs and be prepared to share them.

Get a coach, be a coach, or both. Today.