Your client has explored what’s happening with her goal to make a career transition. You ask, “What can you do to move forward?” You wait about 15 seconds—your client doesn’t say anything. You rephrase the question and ask, “What are your options?’’ And you wait for about 10 seconds—your client doesn’t say anything. Then you say, “Here are 3 things you could do.…”
 
Not good. Why? Because by suggesting options you did the work your client is supposed to do. Because your suggestions interrupted some really good ideas your client was having—she wasn’t sitting there doing nothing. Because you hear your client say, “I appreciate your willingness to help. I was coming up with some good ideas, and when you gave your suggestions, I focused on listening to you. Now I’m having trouble remembering what I was thinking.” Ouch.
 
Question: How often to you refrain from suggesting options?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from suggesting options. Things that help me do this include the following:

1. Remembering that silence indicates reflection, not the absence of reflection.
2. Remembering that brainstorming options helps my client get motivated for action. And I want my client motivated for action.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from suggesting options?

Your client is talking about what’s happening with his goal to plan more effectively. You easily relate to this—a few years back you had a similar goal. Since then, you’ve done research on planning, coached 27 clients who are working on planning, and developed a 5-phase planning framework.
 
As you listen to your client, you think, “He’s at phase 2.” Your client pauses, and you hear yourself say, “As best I can tell, you’re in phase 2—you’re working and you have a plan. Since you don’t yet have a good documented plan, you follow your gut more than your plan.”
 
Then you recognize that you just described your client’s reality—something you don’t want to do. Because you want your client thinking, and when you describe your client’s reality, he’s not thinking.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from describing your client’s reality?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from describing your client’s reality. Two things that help me do this are:

1. Remembering that my client is the expert in his life—not me. He knows his reality.
2. Remembering that my goal is to get my client thinking about his reality.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from describing your client’s reality?

You ask your client, “What would you like to accomplish as a result of talking today?” Your client responds, “I didn’t really think about what I wanted to accomplish today. Nothing’s coming to mind. Got any ideas?”
 
This has happened with this client before. You quickly process through previous coaching sessions and think of 3 possible goals for the session. And you say, “How about how to handle email more effectively, how to make more time to talk with the kids, or how to more effectively target personal strengths?”
 
After asking the question, you realize that you’re suggesting goals for the coaching session. This is something you don’t want to do. Why? Because your client grows as she takes responsibility for identifying goals for a coaching session.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching sessions. Things that help me do this include the following:

1. Sharing with new and current clients that they are responsible for setting goals for coaching sessions and that setting goals helps them grow.
2. Recognizing that if a client doesn’t have a goal for a session, now is a good time to have the client develop a list of goals.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

The GROW process is a user-friendly process you can use to coach others (Goal • Reality • Options • Will do).  

If you want to empower others, use a coaching approach.

What helps me get my goals accomplished? Developing my own action steps, action steps that I’m motivated to take and that are SMART. I don't have the same success rate when someone else develops the action steps and when the action steps are not SMART.
 
I’m sold on developing my own SMART action steps. And when I work with others, I work to focus them on developing their own SMART action steps.
 
Question: How often do you focus others on developing SMART action steps?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps. What helps me do this consistently is asking questions like:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
• Attainable: How doable is this?
• Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
• Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps?
 
*To learn more about focusing others, click here.

When I think of improving my coaching, 3 areas come to mind. Those 3 areas are beliefs, skills, and process. 

We all want to accomplish our goals. To accomplish our goals, we need to take action steps. I’ve found that the SMARTer the action step, the more likely I am to accomplish it. A SMART action steps is:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Relevant
• Timebound

“Get in shape” is not a SMART action step, and it’s actually not that easy to accomplish. “Walk for 30 minutes 3 times per week for 1 month” is a SMART action step, and it’s actually easier to accomplish than “Get in shape.”
 
Question: How often do you empower others to develop SMART action steps for each of their goals?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to develop SMART actions steps for each of their goals. If the person you’re talking to develops general action steps, help them SMARTen them up by asking questions like:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
• Attainable: How doable is this?
• Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
• Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to develop SMART action steps for each of their goals?
 
*To learn more about coaching others on taking action, click here.

Sometimes I get stuck. I have a problem, and I can’t find a way to solve it. Then, I remember to brainstorm my options, to think outside the box. In short order, I’m unstuck and on my way to solving my problem. Brainstorming works for me. And I’ve found that brainstorming helps others.
 
Question: How often do you empower others to brainstorm options?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to brainstorm options. To help others brainstorm options, I like to ask “What are your options?” and “What else?”
 
Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to brainstorm options?
 
*To learn more about coaching on options, click here.

You want to achieve your goal. And you want to take action now! Ever feel like that? I have. I like the energy, but I don’t necessarily like the results.
 
Why? Because when I take action without reflecting on my current reality, I forget to take into account things like family plans and my overall workload. What happens? I achieve things I don’t want (like family disharmony and personal fatigue), and I don’t achieve my goal.
 
Question: How often do you empower others to explore their current reality?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to explore their current reality. What helps me do this is asking open-ended questions:

• What’s happening?
• How do you feel about this?
• How is God using _______ in your life?
• What are some other ways to look at this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to explore their reality?
 
*To learn more about coaching others on the reality of their goals, click here.

You’re coaching Toru. You have 30 minutes to help Toru achieve his goal. To use this time effectively, make sure you are clear on Toru’s goal. Otherwise, you’ll waste Toru’s time by asking irrelevant questions.
 
Question: How often are you clear on the other person’s goal?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently are clear on the other person’s goal. I know that I’m clear on the goal when I restate the goal and the client says, “Yes, that’s what I want to accomplish.” Here’s an example of what I do:

Me: What would you like to accomplish in our session?
Client: I want to find ways to get better at my job.

Me: What do you mean by “get better” at your job?
Client: Well, I’m having trouble with my boss. I’m not getting my projects done on time. I want to find ways to get my projects done before the deadline.

Me: So your goal for our session is to identify ways to get your projects done before the deadline.
Client: Yes, that’s what I want to accomplish.
 
Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently are clear on the other person’s goal?
 
*To learn more about coaching others on goals, click here.

Through Christian coaching, you can empower others to pursue God’s call. To get an idea of how you can empower others even more effectively, complete the following self-assessment that addresses coaching beliefs, skills, and process (download). Write the number in the blank that comes closest to representing how true a given statement is for you right now. Use the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sometimes • 1: Rarely

The coach’s heart
___  I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___  I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___  I target motivation, not information.
___  I empower others to take responsibility.
 
LIFE skills: Listen • Inquire • Focus • Encourage
___  I’m interested in what others say.
___  When listening, I look interested.
___  When listening, I sound interested.
___  I target understanding, not judging.
___  I don’t talk more than 20% of the time.

___  I ask open-ended questions.
___  I make inviting statements.
___  I don’t ask “why” questions.
___  I don’t give advice.

___  I focus others on developing their own SMART action steps.
___  I don’t suggest action steps.

___  I encourage others through clarification.
___  I encourage others through affirmation.
___  I encourage others through restatement.
___  I encourage others through “encouragers.”
___  I don’t criticize.
 
GROW process: Goal • Reality • Options • Will do
___  I’m clear on what the other person wants to accomplish for the session.
___  I don’t suggest goals for the session.

___  I empower others to explore the current reality regarding their goals.
___  I don’t describe others’ reality.

___  I empower others to brainstorm options for taking action on their goals.
___  I don’t suggest options.

___  I empower others to develop 2-3 SMART action steps per goal.
___  I don’t advise others on what actions to take.

Want to help others pay attention to their goals? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are your goals?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you like/dislike about paying attention to your goals?
4. How does paying attention to your goals help you accomplish them?
5. If you paid more attention to your goals, what might happen?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you pay to your goals?
7. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you want to pay to your goals?
8. What helps you pay attention on your goals?
9. What will you do?

“This coaching series has been life changing,” says Trudi, a secretary at an international Christian school in Singapore. It’s her final coaching session. She adds, “I’ve gotten a better understanding of God’s calling for me. My personal mission statement gives me something to focus on. And the 5 goals I’ve developed for carrying out my mission help me take action on my mission. I want to keep at it.”
 
Question: What can you ask Trudi?
 
Answer: How can you continue to make progress?”
 
Get Trudi to create an environment that empowers her to consistently take action on her goals. To help Trudi create an empowering environment, ask her questions like:

• What helps/hinders you in focusing on your goals?
• What helps/hinders you in designing action steps each week?
• What helps/hinders you in accomplishing your action steps?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

Want to help others prioritize? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are you working on?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you want to accomplish in the next month?
4. Which of these things would you categorize as big priorities? Medium priorities? Small priorities?
5. What can you do to ensure that the big priorities get accomplished?
6. What do you think you’ll do?
7. Would you like to talk again about your priorities?

“One of my overall goals is to provide resources for church members that help them pursue God’s calling,” says Bill, a pastor of a 250-member congregation in London.
 
It’s Bill’s first coaching session, and for the next 30 minutes, you ask Bill questions to provoke him to reflect:

• Who are your church members?
• What is God calling them to?
• How do you see resources helping them?
• What kinds of resources would help them?
• What helps/hinders church members in using resources?

Says Bill, “This has been helpful. Your questions helped me think about the resources I want to provide. Thanks.”
 
You think, “He sounds like he thinks we’re done, and he hasn’t developed his action steps.”
 
Question: What can you ask Bill?
 
Answer: What will you do this week?
 
In other words, get Bill to develop 2 or more SMART action plans he will take to provide resources for church members. To empower Bill to develop SMART action steps, first ask him questions about his options:

• What could you do to provide church members with resources?
• What else could you do?

Then ask Bill questions about SMART action steps he will take this week to provide church members with resources:

• What will you do this week?
• What 2 or more action steps will you take?
• What do you mean by ___?
• How will you know when you’ve achieved this action step?
• How doable is this?
• How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
• By when will you do this?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

It's important to pursue your God-given calling. Reflecting can help. Here are 7 questions you can reflect on.

“This coaching series has helped me clarify God’s calling,” says Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia. “I like my personal mission statement: Empowering Christians to pursue God’s calling.
 
“And the 6 goals I’ve identified help me know what I need to do to carry out my mission. I especially like my goal for coaching: Providing support, encouragement, and accountability for Christian leaders. Right now, I’m coaching 5 leaders.
 
“Last session, I brainstormed things I could do to accomplish each of my goals. I like my list, but it’s general—for example, for my goal on coaching, I listed “write blogs,” but I didn’t list how many. And I can’t do everything I listed. So, I want to get more specific and make the list doable.”
 
Question: What can you ask Tomoko?
 
Answer: What will you do to achieve your goals?
 
In other words, get Tomoko to identify 2-4 sub-goals she will accomplish in the next 12 months. For example, imagine Tomoko saying, “Let’s start with my goal on coaching.”
 
You could say, “OK. Imagine that it’s 12 months from now. You feel good about coaching leaders. What have you accomplished in the past 12 months?”
 
Then Tomoko would brainstorm, you would continue to ask questions, and Tomoko might decide that she will coach 20 leaders, write a monthly coaching blog, and do three 1-day coaching workshops so Christian leaders can learn how to coach others. Then, Tomoko would move on to her next goal—consulting.
 
Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

You’re coaching Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia who wants to clarify God’s calling. She’s made good progress. She’s developed a mission statement, identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish in order to carry out her mission, and reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her goals. During her last coaching session, she reflected on what helps and hinders her in achieving her goals.
 
She says, “I completed my action steps. I listed 3 things that help me and 3 things that hinder me in accomplishing each of my 6 goals. Then, I talked over my list with my friend Jeannie. She gave some useful input, and I used it to revise my list. I’m more aware of each of my goals. I think I’m ready to take action on each of my goals.”
 
Question: What can you ask Tomoko?
 
Answer: What are your options for achieving your goals?
 
Get Tomoko to identify 5 or more options for each of her 6 goals. For example, 1 of Tomoko’s goals is using coaching to develop leaders. To empower Tomoko to generate options regarding this goal, ask her questions like:

• What can you do?
• What are your options?
• Could you give me 5 options?
• What do you need to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing?
• What else could you do?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia, has been working for several weeks to clarify God’s calling. In previous coaching sessions, she’s:

• Identified 4 problems and 3 opportunities she’s passionate about & blessed by God to address.
• Developed a mission statement.
• Identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish to carry out her mission.
• Reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her 6 goals.

“I’m feeling good about the progress I’ve been making,” says Tomoko. “These coaching sessions have been helpful—thanks! I’m clearer on how I should be investing my energy. I’d like to move forward on my goals, you know, develop effective action steps.”
 
Question: What can you ask Tomoko?
 
Answer: What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?
 
For example, 1 of Tomoko’s goals is to provide leaders with resources. To empower Tomoko to reflect on what helps/hinders her in providing resources, ask her questions like:

• What personal strengths help you?
• What opportunities does addressing this goal provide?
• What resources are available?
• What personal weaknesses get in your way?
• What are your roadblocks?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

Three weeks ago, Tim was appointed as field director for his mission. Sitting across the table from you, he says, “Being a mission field director is challenging. I feel good about my new role. I’ve been asking God how He wants me to use the gifts He’s given me, and He answered—I’m now the field director.
 
“I feel like I can do a pretty good job of supporting people in our mission. But being responsible for carrying out our strategic plan feels a little overwhelming.
 
“Last year, we revised our mission statement. Then, we developed 6 strategic goals. These goals tell us what we need to do to carry out our mission statement. We have some pretty aggressive goals, and I’m not sure how we’re going to get them all done.”
 
Question: What can you ask Tim?
 
Answer: What’s already been accomplished?
 
In other words, get Tim to reflect on each of the 6 goals from the strategic plan. Getting Tim to reflect on the current achievement of each goal is vital. Why? Because reflecting on each goal gives Tim the opportunity to:

• Celebrate progress.
• Understand what still needs to be accomplished.
• Recognize what no longer needs to be addressed.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

You’re coaching Mark, a math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. He wants to clarify God’s calling. In previous sessions, he identified the problems/opportunities he’s passionate about and blessed by God to address. He also drafted a personal mission statement: Equipping Christians to live for Jesus.
 
Says Mark, “I feel pretty good about my mission statement. It reflects who I am and the problems/opportunities I want to address. It’s already helped my focus. But as a statement, it’s fairly broad. I want to make it more specific, more concrete. That way I’ll be able to take action on my mission."
 
Question: What can you ask Mark?
 
Answer: “What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?”
 
In other words, “What 5-10 areas do you need to be involved in to carry out your mission and, consequently, to address the problems and opportunities you identified?” (As necessary, give examples of area. *See list below.)
 
Once Mark has identified 5-10 areas, ask “What’s your goal for each area?” Here’s a sample: Coaching—Provide the support, encouragement, and accountability Christian leaders need to pursue God’s calling.
 
As Mark develops a goal for each area, he’ll be answering “What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?” As Mark develops a goal for each area, he’ll be making his mission more specific, concrete, and actionable.
 
Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.
 
*Sample areas:
Environment
Finances
Health/fitness
Leadership
Life balance
Personal growth
Recreation
Relationships
Spiritual/church
Work

“What I want to do is to develop a personal mission statement,” says Mark, a high school math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. “I’m fairly clear on the problems/opportunities God is calling me to address. Having a mission statement will help me focus on these problems/opportunities.”
 
Question: What can you ask Mark?
 
Answer: Ask these 5 questions:

1. What 5 or more verbs reflect God’s calling for you? (As necessary, give examples. *See list below.)
2. What will you say when asked, “What’s your mission?”
3. What word best describes your God-given mission?
4. What 2-3 words describe your God-given mission?
5. What 1 sentence do you want said about you at your funeral?

Once Mark has reflected on these 5 questions, ask “What’s your God-given mission?” Give Mark time to think—he may need paper and pen to put down his thoughts. Once Mark has a draft, ask questions to help him refine his mission statement:

• How does this mission statement address the problems and opportunities you identified?
• How does this mission statement help you understand God’s calling?
• What do you mean by ____?
• How easy is this for you to say?
• How does this mission statement help you focus?

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.
 
*Sample verb list:
Advance
Build
Collaborate
Disciple
Educate
Empower
Encourage
Equip
Evangelize
Heal
Improve
Innovate
Lead
Mobilize
Network
Nurture
Organize
Plant
Raise
Serve
Transform
Unite

Imagine that you are a church planter in Japan. Imagine that you want your church members to think about a current challenge. What can you do? You can use the GROW process:

• Goal: What’s our goal?
• Reality: What’s going on?
• Options: What can we do?
• Will do’s: What will we do?

When doing coaching workshops for CAJ staff and for missionaries, I teach the GROW process. I was really encouraged by the following email from a church planter who used the GROW process:
 
“I thought you would be interested in what our church did yesterday after worship. We are trying to sell our land and move to an area of Fujisawa that has no church to plant a church there. The denomination hasn’t given their blessing yet on the sale of the land, so we needed to think through things we could do until we get their blessing for selling the land and moving forward.
 
“I led a discussion for about 10 church members using GROW to think through ideas and options. It was fun to do, and interesting to do it in Japanese! The GROW concept worked, and helped to structure a very helpful discussion. I heard the following comments from people:

• ‘This was the first time that I could really say what was on my heart.’
• ‘This gives me hope that there are things that we can be doing and not be stuck in a rut.’
• ‘It was helpful to get things out on the white board to help get my thinking sorted out.’

“Thought you would want to know that your coach training helped a Japanese church to process things.”

You’re listening to Carla, a 43-year-old office worker. She’s experiencing significant change, including a new home, a new pastor at church, and her youngest child starting high school. Carla tells you that as a result of the changes she’s experiencing, she’s more sensitive to her own needs and the needs of others.
 
Says Carla, “There are a lot of problems and opportunities around me. I can’t address all of them, but I can address some of them. I want to pursue my calling, so I want to think about which problems and opportunities are part of my calling.”
 
Question: What can you ask Carla?
 
Answer: I believe that God gives us passions for certain problems/opportunities and that He blesses us to address certain problems/opportunities. So ask Carla, “What problems and opportunities are you passionate about?”
 
As necessary, give examples to clarify what you mean by problems and opportunities:

• Sample problems: poverty, discouragement, racism, drugs, poor education, unemployment, underperformance, few Christians, Christians not growing/being discipled, church life not vibrant, lack of leaders, lack of innovation, lack of collaboration, people working without necessary tools and systems, lack of training, dysfunctional relationships
• Sample opportunities: develop leaders, help youth develop a Christian worldview, focus staff energy, support and encourage others, build networks, increase staff effectiveness through consulting and training, model innovation, increase mission achievement through consulting and building systems

Once Carla has brainstormed the problems/opportunities she’s passionate about, ask her, “Which of these has God blessed you to address?” Help Carla focus on identifying 5-15 problems/opportunities she’s passionate about and blessed by God to address.
 
Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

You’re pursuing God’s calling. Good. Three weeks ago, you developed a list 5 goals that are part of pursuing God’s calling:

1. Pray more.
2. Make spouse happy.
3. Answer email immediately.
4. Coach students.
5. Provide training for Christian schools.

Now, you’re seated at your desk, reflecting on your goals. Good. You notice that you haven’t made any progress. You’re puzzled. You want to work on your goals—so motivation is not the issue. Yes, you have been busy the past 3 weeks, but you did have time to work on your goals—so time is not the issue. You just feel like it’s hard to get started. You look at your goals, and you find it hard to get traction.
 
Question: What can you do?
 
Answer: Make each of your goals SMART. What do I mean by SMART?
 
A SMART goal is:

1. Specific: A specific goal identifies a concrete task. Instead of having the general goal of praying more, use the specific goal of praying 15 minutes each weekday morning.
2. Measurable: Progress on a measurable goal can be readily tracked. Instead of having a general goal of making your spouse happy, use a measurable goal like going out for monthly dates with your spouse.
3. Attainable: An attainable goal is a challenging goal that you can accomplish. Instead of setting an unattainable goal like answering all your email immediately, set an attainable goal of answering all email within 48 hours.
4. Relevant: A relevant goal is one that is aligned with your values and mission. If you value empowering others and your mission is to empower leaders of Christian organizations, focus on coaching leaders of Christian organizations, not students.
5. Time-bound: A time-bound goal is one that has a realistic deadline. Instead of having an open-ended goal of providing training for Christian schools, use the measurable, time-bound goal of providing 5 workshops by April 30.

Situation: You have 30 minutes to work on a goal. Which goal is easier to get started on?

• Goal A: Write an article.
• Goal B: By the 22nd of this month, write a 500-word article for Christian school teachers on SMART goals.

Answer: I picked Goal B. I think you did, too. Why didn’t I pick Goal A? Because I needed answers to the following questions before I could get started: What’s the topic? Who’s the audience? How many words? When’s it due?
 
I didn’t pick Goal A because it wasn’t SMART.
 
Question: Does making goals SMART really help?
 
Answer: Yes. Here’s what staff at Christian Academy in Japan have to say:

1. Kim Essenburg (English 10): SMART goals help me focus. For example, last year our English Department had a goal of meeting every other month to discuss teaching reading strategies—because we wanted to help our students improve their reading skills. Having a goal that specified the purpose and frequency of our meetings helped us get started and stay with it.
2. Jennifer Robinson (curriculum coordinator): We use the SMART-goal format when presenting our school improvement goals. We do this because we want to provide our staff with clear expectations—including by when we want to accomplish our goals.
3. Stephen Willson (facilities manager): The SMARTer the goals are, the easier it to understand and complete the task. For example, when someone brings a broken desk to our shop and doesn’t specify where the desk should be returned to, it’s harder to achieve the goal of having the fixed desk returned to the right room.

Bottom line: Making your goals SMART helps you clarify what you want to achieve and, consequently, helps you get started more quickly. 
 
SMARTen up your goals. Today.

You’re coaching Bob. He shares that he’s turning 47, his oldest child is now a freshman in college, his best friend recently moved to the United Kingdom, and he’s thinking about changing careers. As Bob talks about what’s he’s experiencing, it becomes clear that Bob wants to clarify God’s calling in his life. He wants to develop a personal mission statement and to design goals to achieve that mission statement.
 
Question: What can you ask Bob to help him get started?
 
Answer: Start by asking Bob a question that will provoke him to reflect on his current situation. Start by asking Bob, “How has God blessed you to pursue His calling?” To help Bob reflect on this question, ask:

• How’s God working in your life?
• What Relationships has God blessed you with?
• What Abilities has God blessed you with?
• What Character qualities has God blessed you with?
• What Experiences has God blessed you with?

In other words, ask Bob, “What GRACE has God given you to pursue His calling?”
 
Benefit: As Bob reflects on how God has blessed him, he’ll think about how God has been with him each day. And he’ll inventory God’s blessings—and that will prepare him to clarify God’s calling.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

Three weeks ago, Tim was appointed as field director for his mission. Sitting across the table from you, he says, “Being a mission field director is challenging. I feel good about my new role. I’ve been asking God how He wants me to use the gifts He’s given me, and He answered—I’m now the field director.
 
“I feel like I can do a pretty good job of supporting people in our mission. But being responsible for carrying out our strategic plan feels a little overwhelming.
 
“Last year, we revised our mission statement. Then, we developed 6 strategic goals. These goals tell us what we need to do to carry out our mission statement. We have some pretty aggressive goals, and I’m not sure how we’re going to get them all done.”
 
Question: What can you ask Tim?
 
Answer: What’s already been accomplished?
 
In other words, get Tim to reflect on each of the 6 goals from the strategic plan. Getting Tim to reflect on the current achievement of each goal is vital. Why? Because reflecting on each goal gives Tim the opportunity to:

• Celebrate progress.
• Understand what still needs to be accomplished.
• Recognize what no longer needs to be addressed.

Empower your client to pursue God’s calling. Today.

Church planters work hard and need support, encouragement, and accountability. They also need someone to provoke them to reflect.

You can help by asking church planters questions like...

• What's a church?
  
• What are the practical implications of Christians being a priesthood of believers?
  
• Within a church, what's the role of the missionary? the laity?
  
• What's success?

What do you want to do? Things I want to do include:

• Living in a cottage in the Lake District.
  
• Coaching Christian leaders via cell phone while hiking around Grasmere.
  
• Creating and facilitating effective communities of practice for Christian leaders, while looking out over the ocean at Takayama.
  
• Running 10 miles in the Yorkshire Dales without breathing hard.
  
• Getting regularly published in print and online.
  
• Consulting for Christian organizations worldwide via videoconferencing, while drinking coffee in a café in Windsor.
  
• Going for long walks along a deserted beach with my wife.
  
• Working with others to develop an online teacher training program regarding helping students apply a Biblical perspective to what they study, while looking out over Lake Nojiri.
  
• Celebrating my daughters’ birthday parties in person for as long as I live.
  
• Creating a podcast for iTunes that empowers Christian leaders to close the gap, while staying in a farmhouse in Kilmihil.

I want to do lots of things. And I enjoy dreaming about doing them. But I know that my “want to’s” will only be enjoyable dreams until I will them into reality. Until I change “want to” into “will do.” Until I take action.

Bottom line: To turn dreams into reality, you must take action.

Will a dream into reality. Today.

You have identified your goal. You’ve thought about what’s currently going on regarding the goal. Now you want to take action to achieve your goal. Good.

Before identifying and committing to the specific actions you’ll take, brainstorm your options. Brainstorming options can help you:

• Identify effective options. For example, if you want to balance your checkbook, you could do it by hand, in a spreadsheet, and in Quicken. You could do it daily, weekly, or monthly. Which option(s) would be most effective for you?
  
• Identify appealing options. For example, if you want to run, you could run on a treadmill, around a track, along the road, and in a park. You could run by yourself, with someone, and with a running club. Which option(s) do you find most appealing?

When brainstorming, do 4 things:

1. Reflect: What can you do? What else could you do?
   
2. Think: Think inside the box. Think outside the box. Think of multiple options.
   
3. Remember: There’s usually a better way. You can find it.
   
4. Get in a good context: I do my best brainstorming when I’m working with someone—like a coach. What’s a good context for you?

After you have brainstormed options for taking action to achieve your goal, review your options and then commit to the actions you’ll take.

You have established a key goal, one that will make a difference at work and at home. You’re committed to your goal, and you want to take action.

Two tips:

(1) Be aware of the current reality of your goal. One way to do this is to look at your goal from different perspectives, for example:

• God: How does the God see this? What is God calling you to do?
  
• Family: How does your family see this? How will this affect your family?
  
• Employment: How does your supervisor feel about this? How does this fit with your organization’s goals and mission?
  
• Impact: What short-term impact will this have? What long-term impact will this have?
  
• Friends: How do your friends see this? What advice would your friends give?
  
• Resources: What resources do you need to achieve this goal? What resources are available?

(2) Beware of blind spots. Beware of blind spots = becoming aware of blind spots = fewer blind spots = a greater likelihood of taking effective action steps to achieve your goal. How can you beware of blind spots?

• Talk with 3 friends about your goal and your current reality.
  
• Next, ask them for help on identifying blind spots.

With increased awareness of your current reality and of your blind spots, you can make better decisions about how to take action on your goal.

Be Aware! Beware! Then, take action.

You want to empower others. You want to empower others to focus on their goals, work smart, and pursue their callings. And you have decided to use the GROW process, a 4-step process that moves a person from goal to action:

1. Goal: Get the person to state 1 or more attainable goals for the session.
   
2. Reality: Get the person to explore the current reality regarding the goal(s).
   
3. Options: Get the person to brainstorm options for taking action on the goal(s).
   
4. Will do: Get the person to develop 2-3 SMART action steps s/he will do for each goal.

Problem: You don’t know how to get the 4 steps accomplished. You don’t know how to make the GROW process come alive.

Solution: Add LIFE to the GROW process. How? By using LIFE skills at each step of the GROW process. What are the 4 LIFE skills?

1. Listening
   
2. Inquiring
   
3. Focusing
   
4. Encouraging

Here’s how you can add LIFE to the GROW process to get each of the 4 steps done!

(1) Goal: To get the person to state 1 or more attainable session goals, add LIFE.

• Listen. Establish that you want the person to talk about 1 or more goals and that you want to understand the goals (not judge them).
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “What’s your goal?” and “What would you like to accomplish in our X-minute session?”
  
• Focus the person on developing SMART goals. How? By asking questions: What do you mean by ___? How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal? By when do you want to accomplish your goal?
  
• Encourage the person by restating his goals. This lets him know you are listening and that you are working to understand him and his goals.

(2) Reality: To get the person to explore the current reality regarding the goal(s), add LIFE.

• Listen. Really listen. Use the 80/20 Rule, meaning listen a minimum of 80% of the time and talk a maximum of 20% of the time.
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “What’s going on?” and by making inviting statements like “Tell me more about…”
  
• Focus the person on the current reality regarding the goal so that later she can develop effective action steps. Ask questions like, “How is God using _______ in your life?”
  
• Encourage the person through clarification. Let her know you are listening and that you want to understand by asking clarifying questions like, “Can you give an example?” and “What do you mean when you say…?”

(3) Options: To get the person to brainstorm options for taking action on the goal(s), add LIFE.

• Listen. Look interested and sound interested. Generating options is hard work, and you can energize the person by listening.
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “What can you do?” and “What are your options?”
  
• Focus the person on brainstorming action steps s/he would consider doing to achieve the goal(s).
  
• Encourage the person to keep brainstorming by saying “I understand…” and “Tell me more…”

(4) Will do: To get the person to develop 2-3 SMART action steps s/he will do for each goal, add LIFE.

• Listen. Be interested, giving your full attention. The “Will do” section is the culmination of the GROW process. Giving your full attention will empower the person to develop effective action steps.
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “Is that an action you want to take?” and “On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to that action step?”
  
• Focus the person on developing SMART action steps s/he will do. How? By asking questions: What do you mean by ___? How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step? How doable is this? How will this action step help you achieve your goal? When will you do this?
  
• Encourage the person by acknowledging when s/he has developed a SMART action plan. Say, “You’ve developed 1 SMART action plan. Good.”

Make the GROW process come alive. How? By adding LIFE. Then use GROWLIFE to empower someone. Today.

I believe 3 things about you and about me:

1. We want our lives to count for God, so we want to effectively use our limited resources.
   
2. We want to grow, and we grow as we take responsibility to define our goals.
   
3. When we define our goals, we clarify how we want to make our lives count for God and, consequently, how we can more effectively use our limited resources.

Bottom line: Defining our goals is pivotal. We both know this. We know this because we know how well we function when we operate with defined goals instead of with ambiguous goals or with no goals at all.

Key question: If defining goals is pivotal, why doesn’t everyone consistently define their goals? Because there are obstacles that block people from defining their goals. Here are 3 that may be blocking you from defining your goals:

1. An already busy schedule, and defining goals takes time
   
2. Not knowing how to define goals effectively
   
3. Previously defining goals, but not getting better results

Let’s assume these 3 obstacles are blocking you from defining your goals. Now, imagine having overcome these 3 obstacles. Imagine:

(1) Imagine spending 15 minutes each week defining and/or refining your goals.

(2) Imagine having answered questions like:

• What 3 changes would honor God?
  
• What 3 things is God calling you to be?
  
• What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
  
• What 3 things does it take to achieve your mission?

(3) Imagine having listed 1 or more goals for each of the following 10 categories:

1. Relationships
   
2. Environment
   
3. Spiritual/church
   
4. Leadership
   
5. Work
   
6. Finances
   
7. Health/fitness
   
8. Life balance
   
9. Recreation
   
10. Other

(4) Imagine having SMARTened up your goals. Meaning, you’ve made your goals:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
  
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal?
  
• Attainable: How doable is this?
  
• Relevant: How will this goal help you live for God or achieve your God-given mission?
  
• Timebound: When will you do this?

(5) Imagine working with a coach for 30 minutes each week. A coach who believes in you. A coach who listens to you and asks you questions. A coach who encourages you, empowers you take responsibility to define your goals, and provides you with the support and accountability you need to achieve your goals.

Imagine these 5 things happening, resulting in you having defined goals. If these 5 things happened, resulting in you having defined goals, how would that help you live for God and use your limited resources effectively?

You can make each of these 5 things happen, and you can define your goals. You. Not me. Not your friend. You. So, what are you going to do? What are you going to do to define your goals? And what are you going to do to empower someone to define his/her goals?

Get a coach, be a coach, or both. Today.

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When you coach, empower people to define their goals for each session.

• At the start of each coaching session, get your client to verbalize 1 or more attainable session goals.
  
• Ask questions like “What’s your goal for today?” and “What would you like to accomplish in our X-minute session?”
  
• To help your client SMARTen up his/her goals, use clarifying questions (What do you mean by…?) and restatement (So, your goal for today is…).

People you know want to grow. Your family members want to grow. Your work colleagues want to grow. Your fellow church members want to grow.

You can empower them to grow by using the GROW process. What’s the GROW process? A time-tested, 4-step process you can use that stands for:

• Goal
  
• Reality
  
• Options
  
• Will do

God is growing his people. And he uses GROW.

• God asks us, “What’s your Goal? Whom do you want to live for?” Remember when God uses Joshua to ask the Israelites to choose whom they will serve?
  
• Through his Word, God gets us to reflect on our current Reality, to reflect on the extent to which we serve Him and the extent we serve ourselves.
  
• God gets us to consider our goal and our gifts to find Options for taking action.
  
• Because he loves us and wants the best for us, God asks, “What steps Will you take to serve me and only me?”

Yes, God uses GROW, as do people who believe in others, people who empower others to grow.

• People that believe in others ask, “What’s your Goal?” and “What’s God calling you to be and do?” They don’t tell others what their goals should be.
  
• People that believe in others ask, “What’s your current Reality?” They don’t tell others what their reality is like.
  
• People that believe in others ask, “What are your Options for taking action on your goal?” They don’t tell others what their options are.
  
• People that believe in others ask, “What actions Will you take?” They don’t tell others what actions to take.

GROW targets motivation. And since growing is more about motivation than information, you can you use GROW to empower others to grow.

• To target motivation, get others to state the Goals they want to work on.
  
• To target motivation, get others to reflect on the current Reality they’re working to address through their goals.
  
• To target motivation, get others to brainstorm appealing Options for taking action on their goals.
  
• To target motivation, get others to identify 2-3 actions they Will take to achieve their goals.

In addition to targeting motivation, GROW empowers people to take responsibility. Since people grow as they take responsibility by defining, committing to, and achieving their goals, you can use GROW to help people to grow.

• To empower people, get them to define their Goals and to make their goals SMART. Help them take responsibility by getting them to clarify and then state the goals they are motivated to work on.
  
• To empower people, get them to explore the current Reality regarding their goal(s). Help them take responsibility by asking questions like “What’s going on?” and “How is God using ___ in your life?”
  
• To empower people, get them to brainstorm Options for taking action on their goals. Help them take responsibility by asking questions like “What can you do?” and “What are your options?”
  
• To empower people, get them to develop 2-3 SMART action steps they Will do. Help them take responsibility by asking questions like “What will you do?”

Use the GROW process to demonstrate you believe in others, to target motivation, and to empower others to take responsibility. Use the GROW process today.

You want to help a colleague achieve her goal. You need a process and a list of key skills. You need GROW LIFE.

GROW is a time-tested, user-friendly process you can use to help your colleague achieve her goal. Your role in using the process is to ask questions, move your colleague through the process, and get your colleague to commit to taking 1-2 doable action steps.

So, what does GROW stand for and what should you ask?

• Goal: What’s your goal?
  
• Reality: What’s going on?
  
• Options: What can you do?
  
• Will do: What will you do?

Take 2 minutes (yes, a full 120 seconds) and memorize what GROW stands for and 1-4 of the questions you should ask. (Did you take a full 120 seconds?) Now, please recite out loud the GROW process and 1-4 of the questions. Thanks. Please keep reading.

In addition to a process (GROW), you need a list of skills. You need LIFE:

• Listening
  
• Inquiring
  
• Focusing
  
• Encouraging

What’s involved in each of these 4 skills?

• Listen fully to your colleague, not to the thoughts in your head. Listen to really understand. And listen at least 80% of the time. Remember, “listen” respelled is “silent.”
  
• Inquire through questions and inviting statements. If you listen a minimum of 80% of the time, you have a maximum of 20% of the time for asking questions (“What’s your goal?”) and for making inviting statements like, “Please talk more about that.” Don’t use the 20% for telling your story or giving advice.
  
• Focus your colleague on achieving her goal through SMART action steps. Move your colleague through the GROW process so that she ends the conversation with 1-2 action steps that she is committed to taking. Don’t let your colleague wander.
  
• Encourage your colleague. How? By paraphrasing, clarifying, and acknowledging progress.

Take action:

1. Memorize what GROW LIFE stands for. Recite out loud what GROW LIFE stands for.
   
2. Explain GROW LIFE to a colleague. Print out and use this article as necessary.
   
3. Use GROW LIFE to help your colleague achieve her goal.

Be a coach. GROW LIFE. Today.