You ask your client, “What would you like to accomplish as a result of talking today?” Your client responds, “I didn’t really think about what I wanted to accomplish today. Nothing’s coming to mind. Got any ideas?”
 
This has happened with this client before. You quickly process through previous coaching sessions and think of 3 possible goals for the session. And you say, “How about how to handle email more effectively, how to make more time to talk with the kids, or how to more effectively target personal strengths?”
 
After asking the question, you realize that you’re suggesting goals for the coaching session. This is something you don’t want to do. Why? Because your client grows as she takes responsibility for identifying goals for a coaching session.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching sessions. Things that help me do this include the following:

1. Sharing with new and current clients that they are responsible for setting goals for coaching sessions and that setting goals helps them grow.
2. Recognizing that if a client doesn’t have a goal for a session, now is a good time to have the client develop a list of goals.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

The GROW process is a user-friendly process you can use to coach others (Goal • Reality • Options • Will do).  

You’re coaching Toru. You have 30 minutes to help Toru achieve his goal. To use this time effectively, make sure you are clear on Toru’s goal. Otherwise, you’ll waste Toru’s time by asking irrelevant questions.
 
Question: How often are you clear on the other person’s goal?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently are clear on the other person’s goal. I know that I’m clear on the goal when I restate the goal and the client says, “Yes, that’s what I want to accomplish.” Here’s an example of what I do:

Me: What would you like to accomplish in our session?
Client: I want to find ways to get better at my job.

Me: What do you mean by “get better” at your job?
Client: Well, I’m having trouble with my boss. I’m not getting my projects done on time. I want to find ways to get my projects done before the deadline.

Me: So your goal for our session is to identify ways to get your projects done before the deadline.
Client: Yes, that’s what I want to accomplish.
 
Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently are clear on the other person’s goal?
 
*To learn more about coaching others on goals, click here.

Through Christian coaching, you can empower others to pursue God’s call. To get an idea of how you can empower others even more effectively, complete the following self-assessment that addresses coaching beliefs, skills, and process (download). Write the number in the blank that comes closest to representing how true a given statement is for you right now. Use the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sometimes • 1: Rarely

The coach’s heart
___  I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___  I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___  I target motivation, not information.
___  I empower others to take responsibility.
 
LIFE skills: Listen • Inquire • Focus • Encourage
___  I’m interested in what others say.
___  When listening, I look interested.
___  When listening, I sound interested.
___  I target understanding, not judging.
___  I don’t talk more than 20% of the time.

___  I ask open-ended questions.
___  I make inviting statements.
___  I don’t ask “why” questions.
___  I don’t give advice.

___  I focus others on developing their own SMART action steps.
___  I don’t suggest action steps.

___  I encourage others through clarification.
___  I encourage others through affirmation.
___  I encourage others through restatement.
___  I encourage others through “encouragers.”
___  I don’t criticize.
 
GROW process: Goal • Reality • Options • Will do
___  I’m clear on what the other person wants to accomplish for the session.
___  I don’t suggest goals for the session.

___  I empower others to explore the current reality regarding their goals.
___  I don’t describe others’ reality.

___  I empower others to brainstorm options for taking action on their goals.
___  I don’t suggest options.

___  I empower others to develop 2-3 SMART action steps per goal.
___  I don’t advise others on what actions to take.

Want to help others pay attention to their goals? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are your goals?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you like/dislike about paying attention to your goals?
4. How does paying attention to your goals help you accomplish them?
5. If you paid more attention to your goals, what might happen?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you pay to your goals?
7. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you want to pay to your goals?
8. What helps you pay attention on your goals?
9. What will you do?

It's important to pursue your God-given calling. Reflecting can help. Here are 7 questions you can reflect on.

Thinking about getting coaching? If so, you might be wondering what you could work on with a coach.

A coach will come along side you and empower you to:

1. Live your values
2. Build relationships
3. Communicate effectively
4. Balance home and work
5. Think big
6. Think outside the box
7. Think clearly
8. Get focused and stay focused
9. Get organized
10. Get resources
11. Get support, encouragement, and accountability
12. Get and give feedback
13. Lead organizational change
14. Lead by asking questions
15. Develop systems, processes, and policies
16. Define goals
17. Use calendar software to map out how to get your goals done
18. Use purpose, collaboration, and data to achieve your goals
19. Manage email
20. Facilitate effective meetings

Question: What are 3 things you could work on with a coach? 

Imagine that you are a church planter in Japan. Imagine that you want your church members to think about a current challenge. What can you do? You can use the GROW process:

• Goal: What’s our goal?
• Reality: What’s going on?
• Options: What can we do?
• Will do’s: What will we do?

When doing coaching workshops for CAJ staff and for missionaries, I teach the GROW process. I was really encouraged by the following email from a church planter who used the GROW process:
 
“I thought you would be interested in what our church did yesterday after worship. We are trying to sell our land and move to an area of Fujisawa that has no church to plant a church there. The denomination hasn’t given their blessing yet on the sale of the land, so we needed to think through things we could do until we get their blessing for selling the land and moving forward.
 
“I led a discussion for about 10 church members using GROW to think through ideas and options. It was fun to do, and interesting to do it in Japanese! The GROW concept worked, and helped to structure a very helpful discussion. I heard the following comments from people:

• ‘This was the first time that I could really say what was on my heart.’
• ‘This gives me hope that there are things that we can be doing and not be stuck in a rut.’
• ‘It was helpful to get things out on the white board to help get my thinking sorted out.’

“Thought you would want to know that your coach training helped a Japanese church to process things.”

The point is not to have goals. The point is to achieve goals. To achieve your goals, take 4 steps: pray, put, take, and reflect.

You’re pursuing God’s calling. Good. Three weeks ago, you developed a list 5 goals that are part of pursuing God’s calling:

1. Pray more.
2. Make spouse happy.
3. Answer email immediately.
4. Coach students.
5. Provide training for Christian schools.

Now, you’re seated at your desk, reflecting on your goals. Good. You notice that you haven’t made any progress. You’re puzzled. You want to work on your goals—so motivation is not the issue. Yes, you have been busy the past 3 weeks, but you did have time to work on your goals—so time is not the issue. You just feel like it’s hard to get started. You look at your goals, and you find it hard to get traction.
 
Question: What can you do?
 
Answer: Make each of your goals SMART. What do I mean by SMART?
 
A SMART goal is:

1. Specific: A specific goal identifies a concrete task. Instead of having the general goal of praying more, use the specific goal of praying 15 minutes each weekday morning.
2. Measurable: Progress on a measurable goal can be readily tracked. Instead of having a general goal of making your spouse happy, use a measurable goal like going out for monthly dates with your spouse.
3. Attainable: An attainable goal is a challenging goal that you can accomplish. Instead of setting an unattainable goal like answering all your email immediately, set an attainable goal of answering all email within 48 hours.
4. Relevant: A relevant goal is one that is aligned with your values and mission. If you value empowering others and your mission is to empower leaders of Christian organizations, focus on coaching leaders of Christian organizations, not students.
5. Time-bound: A time-bound goal is one that has a realistic deadline. Instead of having an open-ended goal of providing training for Christian schools, use the measurable, time-bound goal of providing 5 workshops by April 30.

Situation: You have 30 minutes to work on a goal. Which goal is easier to get started on?

• Goal A: Write an article.
• Goal B: By the 22nd of this month, write a 500-word article for Christian school teachers on SMART goals.

Answer: I picked Goal B. I think you did, too. Why didn’t I pick Goal A? Because I needed answers to the following questions before I could get started: What’s the topic? Who’s the audience? How many words? When’s it due?
 
I didn’t pick Goal A because it wasn’t SMART.
 
Question: Does making goals SMART really help?
 
Answer: Yes. Here’s what staff at Christian Academy in Japan have to say:

1. Kim Essenburg (English 10): SMART goals help me focus. For example, last year our English Department had a goal of meeting every other month to discuss teaching reading strategies—because we wanted to help our students improve their reading skills. Having a goal that specified the purpose and frequency of our meetings helped us get started and stay with it.
2. Jennifer Robinson (curriculum coordinator): We use the SMART-goal format when presenting our school improvement goals. We do this because we want to provide our staff with clear expectations—including by when we want to accomplish our goals.
3. Stephen Willson (facilities manager): The SMARTer the goals are, the easier it to understand and complete the task. For example, when someone brings a broken desk to our shop and doesn’t specify where the desk should be returned to, it’s harder to achieve the goal of having the fixed desk returned to the right room.

Bottom line: Making your goals SMART helps you clarify what you want to achieve and, consequently, helps you get started more quickly. 
 
SMARTen up your goals. Today.

Goals help. Goals help you get focused, get energized, get organized, and know what to say “yes” and “no” to.
 
But having goals is not enough. You don’t just want to have goals—you want to achieve goals. You want to achieve your goals in order to pursue your God-given calling. Is there something you can to do increase the likelihood that you’ll achieve your goals? Yes!
 
These four steps can help:

1. Pray. Ask God to guide you as you select goals and to provide the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to achieve your goals.
2. Put your goals on paper. Write them down. The act of writing your goals down will deepen your commitment to them. And if you write your goals down, you can easily review them.
3. Take one or more action steps on each goal every week. And make sure each action step is SMART (Specific • Measurable • Attainable • Relevant • Timebound). The SMARTer your action step, the more likely you’ll complete it. For example, imagine your goal is managing your email. Instead of identifying your action step as “only working on email at certain times,” identify your action step as “doing email for 30 minutes two times per day (11:30-12:00, 4:00-4:30), starting Wednesday.”
4. Reflect on your progress with a friend each week. Tell your friend the progress you’ve made on each action step and what your action steps are for the coming week.

If you want to achieve your goals, get a coach. Your coach will listen, ask questions, and provide the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to achieve your goals.

I believe 3 things about you and about me:

1. We want our lives to count for God, so we want to effectively use our limited resources.
   
2. We want to grow, and we grow as we take responsibility to define our goals.
   
3. When we define our goals, we clarify how we want to make our lives count for God and, consequently, how we can more effectively use our limited resources.

Bottom line: Defining our goals is pivotal. We both know this. We know this because we know how well we function when we operate with defined goals instead of with ambiguous goals or with no goals at all.

Key question: If defining goals is pivotal, why doesn’t everyone consistently define their goals? Because there are obstacles that block people from defining their goals. Here are 3 that may be blocking you from defining your goals:

1. An already busy schedule, and defining goals takes time
   
2. Not knowing how to define goals effectively
   
3. Previously defining goals, but not getting better results

Let’s assume these 3 obstacles are blocking you from defining your goals. Now, imagine having overcome these 3 obstacles. Imagine:

(1) Imagine spending 15 minutes each week defining and/or refining your goals.

(2) Imagine having answered questions like:

• What 3 changes would honor God?
  
• What 3 things is God calling you to be?
  
• What 3 dreams do you want to make real?
  
• What 3 things does it take to achieve your mission?

(3) Imagine having listed 1 or more goals for each of the following 10 categories:

1. Relationships
   
2. Environment
   
3. Spiritual/church
   
4. Leadership
   
5. Work
   
6. Finances
   
7. Health/fitness
   
8. Life balance
   
9. Recreation
   
10. Other

(4) Imagine having SMARTened up your goals. Meaning, you’ve made your goals:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
  
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal?
  
• Attainable: How doable is this?
  
• Relevant: How will this goal help you live for God or achieve your God-given mission?
  
• Timebound: When will you do this?

(5) Imagine working with a coach for 30 minutes each week. A coach who believes in you. A coach who listens to you and asks you questions. A coach who encourages you, empowers you take responsibility to define your goals, and provides you with the support and accountability you need to achieve your goals.

Imagine these 5 things happening, resulting in you having defined goals. If these 5 things happened, resulting in you having defined goals, how would that help you live for God and use your limited resources effectively?

You can make each of these 5 things happen, and you can define your goals. You. Not me. Not your friend. You. So, what are you going to do? What are you going to do to define your goals? And what are you going to do to empower someone to define his/her goals?

Get a coach, be a coach, or both. Today.

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When you coach, empower people to define their goals for each session.

• At the start of each coaching session, get your client to verbalize 1 or more attainable session goals.
  
• Ask questions like “What’s your goal for today?” and “What would you like to accomplish in our X-minute session?”
  
• To help your client SMARTen up his/her goals, use clarifying questions (What do you mean by…?) and restatement (So, your goal for today is…).

You want to achieve your goal. But it’s just not happening. So many things are going on that you’re having trouble focusing on your goal. You think that if you could get some help, you could get to work on your goal. And with regular doses of support, encouragement, and accountability, you could even achieve your goal.

You don’t need counseling or mentoring. What do you need? Someone to listen to you, ask you good questions, and focus you on your goal. If someone would do this, you could:

• Get organized.
  
• Finish that key project.
  
• Manage your e-mail more effectively.
  
• Reduce your busyness by saying “no” to some requests.
  
• Spend time reflecting on what God is calling you to do.

To achieve your goal, get a coach. Coaching is a relationship in which you receive the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to achieve the goals God has given you. Coaching is different from counseling and mentoring:

• In counseling you focus on healing the past; in coaching you focus on improving the present.
  
• In mentoring, you draw from your mentor; in coaching your coach draws from you.

Does coaching work? Yes!

• Martie Tarter (director of choral music): “Coaching has helped me focus on the most important of the many things that I do.”
  
• John Houlette (mission field director): “Coaching helped me realize that I am not alone in ministry—that someone cares about me and is willing to ask me questions and hold me accountable.”
  
• Ruth Spalink (Student Support Team coordinator): “Coaching helped me lead meetings more effectively.”
  
• Stephen Willson (facilities manager): “Coaching helped me to manage my calendar better.”
  
• Scott Ponzani (communication coordinator): “Coaching has helped me define my goals (like getting a publication done) and keep focused on them.”

To achieve your goal, get a coach. Today.