Your client wants to better organize the files in his computer. So you ask him questions like: How are your computer files organized now? What do you like/dislike about the way your computer files are organized? What does being “better organized” look like? In terms of being organized, what do you want to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing?
 
Your client responds to your questions and does some effective reflection. He brainstorms some possible action plans and decides to talk with Martin about how to better organize computer files. You ask, “What else will you do?” You wait for about 10 seconds—your client doesn’t come with another action step. Then you say, “You should organize your files in terms of your job roles….”
 
Not good. Why? Because by suggesting action steps, you could be interrupting your client’s thinking. Because by suggesting action steps, you are doing your client’s work for him. Because by suggesting action steps, you are acting like a consultant, not a coach.
 
My point: Make sure you consistently refrain from advising others on what actions to take.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from advising others on what actions to take?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from advising others on what actions to take?

When coaching, listen, inquire, focus, and encourage.

What helps me get my goals accomplished? Developing my own action steps, action steps that I’m motivated to take and that are SMART. I don't have the same success rate when someone else develops the action steps and when the action steps are not SMART.
 
I’m sold on developing my own SMART action steps. And when I work with others, I work to focus them on developing their own SMART action steps.
 
Question: How often do you focus others on developing SMART action steps?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps. What helps me do this consistently is asking questions like:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
• Attainable: How doable is this?
• Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
• Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps?
 
*To learn more about focusing others, click here.

Through Christian coaching, you can empower others to pursue God’s call. To get an idea of how you can empower others even more effectively, complete the following self-assessment that addresses coaching beliefs, skills, and process (download). Write the number in the blank that comes closest to representing how true a given statement is for you right now. Use the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sometimes • 1: Rarely

The coach’s heart
___  I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___  I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___  I target motivation, not information.
___  I empower others to take responsibility.
 
LIFE skills: Listen • Inquire • Focus • Encourage
___  I’m interested in what others say.
___  When listening, I look interested.
___  When listening, I sound interested.
___  I target understanding, not judging.
___  I don’t talk more than 20% of the time.

___  I ask open-ended questions.
___  I make inviting statements.
___  I don’t ask “why” questions.
___  I don’t give advice.

___  I focus others on developing their own SMART action steps.
___  I don’t suggest action steps.

___  I encourage others through clarification.
___  I encourage others through affirmation.
___  I encourage others through restatement.
___  I encourage others through “encouragers.”
___  I don’t criticize.
 
GROW process: Goal • Reality • Options • Will do
___  I’m clear on what the other person wants to accomplish for the session.
___  I don’t suggest goals for the session.

___  I empower others to explore the current reality regarding their goals.
___  I don’t describe others’ reality.

___  I empower others to brainstorm options for taking action on their goals.
___  I don’t suggest options.

___  I empower others to develop 2-3 SMART action steps per goal.
___  I don’t advise others on what actions to take.

Pursuing my calling is both exciting and frustrating. My calling simultaneously feels like a significant way to help others and a massive, unsolvable problem. How about you? How do you feel about your calling?

I want to pursue my calling, and I find that when someone believes in me, I feel encouraged, energized, and blessed.

People who believe in me do 4 things:

1. They listen, instead of talking.
   
2. They inquire, instead of advising.
   
3. They focus on drawing out, instead of putting in.
   
4. They encourage, instead of critiquing.

Encourage God’s people to pursue their calling. Believe in someone. Today.

Because God is at work in each of His people (Romans 8:28-29), you’re free. Because God is at work, you’re free not to give suggestions or advice to God’s people.

Because God is at work, you’re free:

• To listen for what God wants you to ask His people and to focus them on listening to the Holy Spirit.
  
• To inquire about how God is working in others’ lives and what the Holy Spirit is saying to them.
  
• To focus God’s people on what the Holy Spirit wants them to do.
  
• To encourage others to consider their goals in light of God’s Word and leading.

Remember: As a Christian coach, you’re free!

Everyone needs encouragement. You. Me. Everyone.

How can you encourage others? Here’s a starter list:

• Listen. Really listen. When someone really listens to me, I feel heard. Feeling heard is encouraging.
  
• Ask questions. When people ask me questions, they demonstrate respect for what I think. That’s encouraging.
  
• Focus on others. When someone focuses on me, I feel energized and encouraged. It’s as if there is an energy flow from the person to me.
  
• Believe in others. When others think positively about me and help me find my own solutions (instead of suggesting or advising), I feel great.
  
• Celebrate progress. In the press of things, I lose perspective and forget the progress I’ve made. When someone reminds of the progress I’ve made, I feel encouraged.
  
• Affirm character. When someone affirms me in terms of my character, in terms of who I am, I feel good.
  
• Share from your heart. When others share from their heart, for example, by telling their story, I feel freed to tell my story. Telling my story encourages me because I get to share from my heart.
  
• Use “encouragers.” When people say, “Yes…I see...Tell me more…” I feel encouraged to continue sharing.

Encourage someone. Today.

I like daily conversation. It flows freely, covers a range of topics, is not too focused, and is relaxing. How about you?

But when I want to achieve a goal, I need a focused conversation. I need a conversation focuses me on:

1. Talking about a goal, instead of a topic.
   
2. Talking only about my goal, instead of talking about a range of topics.
   
3. Brainstorming options for taking action on my goal, instead of shooting the breeze.
   
4. Developing SMART actions I’ll take to achieve my goal, instead of tossing around ideas.

Coaching conversations help me do these 4 things. In a coaching conversation:

1. A coach asks, “What’s your goal?” He listens to my response and asks additional questions to help me clarify my goal, to bring it into focus.
   
2. A coach asks, “What’s going on?” to help focus on the current status of my goal. And if I start to get off topic, he helps me get back on track.
   
3. A coach asks, “What are your options?” He encourages me to brainstorm 5 or more options. As a result of focusing on developing a range of options, I can see more clearly how I can move forward on my goal.
   
4. A coach asks, “What 2-3 SMART actions will you take?” This helps me focus on achieving my goal. After all, to achieve a goal, I have to do something.

To what extent would a coaching conversation help you focus on achieving your goal?

You want to empower others. You want to empower others to focus on their goals, work smart, and pursue their callings. And you have decided to use the GROW process, a 4-step process that moves a person from goal to action:

1. Goal: Get the person to state 1 or more attainable goals for the session.
   
2. Reality: Get the person to explore the current reality regarding the goal(s).
   
3. Options: Get the person to brainstorm options for taking action on the goal(s).
   
4. Will do: Get the person to develop 2-3 SMART action steps s/he will do for each goal.

Problem: You don’t know how to get the 4 steps accomplished. You don’t know how to make the GROW process come alive.

Solution: Add LIFE to the GROW process. How? By using LIFE skills at each step of the GROW process. What are the 4 LIFE skills?

1. Listening
   
2. Inquiring
   
3. Focusing
   
4. Encouraging

Here’s how you can add LIFE to the GROW process to get each of the 4 steps done!

(1) Goal: To get the person to state 1 or more attainable session goals, add LIFE.

• Listen. Establish that you want the person to talk about 1 or more goals and that you want to understand the goals (not judge them).
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “What’s your goal?” and “What would you like to accomplish in our X-minute session?”
  
• Focus the person on developing SMART goals. How? By asking questions: What do you mean by ___? How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal? By when do you want to accomplish your goal?
  
• Encourage the person by restating his goals. This lets him know you are listening and that you are working to understand him and his goals.

(2) Reality: To get the person to explore the current reality regarding the goal(s), add LIFE.

• Listen. Really listen. Use the 80/20 Rule, meaning listen a minimum of 80% of the time and talk a maximum of 20% of the time.
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “What’s going on?” and by making inviting statements like “Tell me more about…”
  
• Focus the person on the current reality regarding the goal so that later she can develop effective action steps. Ask questions like, “How is God using _______ in your life?”
  
• Encourage the person through clarification. Let her know you are listening and that you want to understand by asking clarifying questions like, “Can you give an example?” and “What do you mean when you say…?”

(3) Options: To get the person to brainstorm options for taking action on the goal(s), add LIFE.

• Listen. Look interested and sound interested. Generating options is hard work, and you can energize the person by listening.
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “What can you do?” and “What are your options?”
  
• Focus the person on brainstorming action steps s/he would consider doing to achieve the goal(s).
  
• Encourage the person to keep brainstorming by saying “I understand…” and “Tell me more…”

(4) Will do: To get the person to develop 2-3 SMART action steps s/he will do for each goal, add LIFE.

• Listen. Be interested, giving your full attention. The “Will do” section is the culmination of the GROW process. Giving your full attention will empower the person to develop effective action steps.
  
• Inquire by asking questions like, “Is that an action you want to take?” and “On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to that action step?”
  
• Focus the person on developing SMART action steps s/he will do. How? By asking questions: What do you mean by ___? How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step? How doable is this? How will this action step help you achieve your goal? When will you do this?
  
• Encourage the person by acknowledging when s/he has developed a SMART action plan. Say, “You’ve developed 1 SMART action plan. Good.”

Make the GROW process come alive. How? By adding LIFE. Then use GROWLIFE to empower someone. Today.